One Step At a Time
by Carrie Underwood Fan
Summary: Meredith left Seattle two years ago after having one last "sex and mockery" with Derek after she found herself pregnant. Now she back! Will Meredith fall for McDreamy all over again? Will Derek accept the idea of being a father? Mer/Der
1. As The Wolrd Turns On

I've decided to start a new story with a twist

_They say the best of surgeons never give up surgery. Not for marriage. Not for family. Not for anything. If there's anything my mother did teach me, it's to do the complete opposite of what she thought was a "normal life. I was going to do it my way and no one was intending on stopping me._

Meredith walked into Seattle Grace eager to see her friends who she hadn't seen in almost two years. How? Well almost exactly two years ago Derek and Meredith had the whole "sex and mockery" one last time before Derek permanently decided to be with Rose. Turns out their little rendezvous created a tiny human being. Meredith planned on telling Derek, but when she saw that he no longer loved her, she gave up on the whole "happily ever after". Meredith quickly resigned from Seattle Grace and moved to Maine where nine long months later Katherine Olivia Shepherd was born. Meredith had decided it was time to come back. Katherine being almost two and a half now, she decided to get ready to move back to Seattle. Where she was most happy and where dysfunctional "family" lived.

"Meredith!" Izzie said as she spotted her first from the group. She immediately rushed over and gave her a hug. "It's so good to have you back. Don't get me wrong I loved coming and visiting you and Kat, but I think I speak for all of us when I say you're needed back here." said Izzie as she developed both of them into a hug.

"Yes even I have t agree with Barbie. You belong here Meredith not in some weird town in the middle of Maine." said Christina as she hugged Meredith and patted Katherine on the head.

"Cristina! She's not some animal. You can hug her and kiss her." said Meredith.

"I don't hug or be maternal to kids. Not even yours." said Cristina.

"That's a well known fact." muttered Alex.

"Shut it Evil Spawn." said Cristina.

"Um hello two year old here. Trying to promote good behavior not bad." said Meredith as she shifted Katherine to the other hip.

"Mommy I almost two and a half." said Katherine.

"Sorry _two and half. _Come on Kat we have to go see Grandpa Richard in his office. I'll see you guy's later." said Meredith as she started to walk toward the Chief's office. Some things really never change. Izzie was still her bubbly self. Alex still being the "wise guy" and Christina still being her usual brutally honest self. She walked right into the Chief's office not expecting anyone to be in there and low and behold she walked right into a meeting of the Chief and Derek himself. They both looked up and Derek startled to see who it was smiled gently after seeing her and gave her the "eyes" and the "Mc-Dreamy" smile, making her knees still wobble at the sight of this.

_It just goes to show some really never do change._

**Well? I thought I'd try something completely different from my field of usual writing. Review if you like it!**


	2. Just Breathe It All Back Again

My goodness guy's

_**My goodness guy's! I didn't think the first chapter would go over that well! Thank you for everyone who reviewed. **_

"Meredith, Katherine. Nice to see you both again. Take a seat, Dr. Shepherd and I were just finishing up our meeting." said the Chief.

"No it's quite alright we'll just wait outside. I don't want to disrupt your meeting." said Meredith as she turned and started for the door.

"Meredith sit down." said Richard. "So Derek as I was saying we are receiving he pleasure of another top neurosurgeon and here she is. Dr. Grey will be coming back and joining as our second Head of Neuro. Meredith you will be working along side Derek. Between the two of you Seattle Grace will have some of the best working in this field. Derek that's all we needed to speak about. You may go. But before you do so, Meredith why don't you let Katherine go with Derek for a minute. We have some paper work to fill out and things to discuss that I'm sure wouldn't be appropriate for a two year old." said Richard.

"Chief I'm sure she'll be fine. She'll just color. That is not necessary at all." said Meredith holding Katherine a little closer then she was before.

"Meredith she'll be fine. Derek has nieces and nephews. He knows how to handle kids. Now please give her to him so we can get started." ordered the Chief calmly.

Meredith reluctantly handed Katherine over to Derek and then handed her the bag filled with her things that she had been carrying.

"She should be fine, but god forbid she gets upset or is too hard to handle I'm right in here." said Meredith.

"We'll be fine." said Derek as he headed out of the room with Katherine.

"Now let's get started." said the Chief.

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Derek quietly shut the door behind him and started walking down the hall.

"So Katherine, I'm Derek." said Derek as he held out his free hand for her little one to shake, which she gladly did.

"Are you going to be working with Mommy?' asked Katherine as they walked down the hall.

"Uh-Huh. Yep I'm a doctor that fixes people's heads just like your Mommy does." said Derek as they got into the elevator.

"Oh. We just moved here from Maine. Mommy used to live here before I was borned." said Katherine speaking incorrectly as most toddler spoke.

Derek smiled at her as the elevator dinged and they started to go down. "She did?'' said Derek trying to act surprised when she said this." Well then Mommy must know Seattle is a great place for little girls and their mommies to live." said Derek as the elevator landed on the floor they needed to get off at.

"Mommy says that my Daddy lives in Seattle. I don't know what he looks like though. Mommy says though that when I meet him I'll know he's my Daddy." said Katherine as they walked towards the main desk.

"Well you're Mommy is a very smart person so I would listen to what she say's about your Daddy." said Derek as he thought about how much Katherine reminded him of Meredith. She had her strong jaw-line and most definitely her spunky personality and her cute little nose. But she looked nothing liked Meredith when it came to her dirty blonde curls. Hair color was like Meredith, but those curls she must have inherited from her father. Along with those deep blue eyes, something seemed oh too familiar about those little blue eyes.

"Derek?' asked Katherine breaking his trance of thought.

"Yes?" answered Derek as he smiled down at her.

"My tummy is making noises." said Katherine as she patted her stomach gently.

"Well that usually means that you're hungry." said Derek as he stopped and bent down to her eye level. "Tell you what. Why don't we go down to the cafeteria and get something for that noisy tummy of yours." said Derek as he tickled her stomach.

Katherine giggled when he did so and then answered" Okay."

"Well why don't you tell me what kind of food you like?" said Derek as he got back up and took her hand and they started walking into the cafeteria.

"Pizza!" answered Katherine back excitedly.

"Pizza it is." laughed Derek as they got on line to get food.

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Meredith walked into the cafeteria almost and hour an a half later to find the cutest scene un-folding right in front of her eyes. Derek and Katherine both laughing and talking over Katherine's favorite food. Meredith stopped and watched and the walked over to the table.

"Hey Kat." said Meredith sitting down next to Katherine and across from Derek.

"Mommy!" said Katherine excitedly as she kissed her." Derek and I are eating pizza!" said Katherine excitedly.

"I can see!" said Meredith trying to match Katherine's excitement." Mommy's all done with her meeting now though, so we have to go back to the apartment and get unpacked. Move some things around." said Meredith as she pushed Katherine's blond curls out of her face. "Are you going to be Mommy's little helper." asked Meredith.

"Yes. Mommy can Derek come and help us?" asked Katherine.

Meredith at a loss of words opened her mouth and absolutely nothing came out. She looked at Derek who shrugged his shoulders also at a loss of words.

"Honey Derek might have to work today. Maybe another day." said Meredith as wiped Katherine's mouth and hands.

"Derek do you have to work today?" asked Katherine as she looked at him with her adorable big blue eyes that were pleading at him.

"Well if it's okay with your Mom I can come and help for awhile." said Derek looking at Meredith while he said this.

Katherine looked at her mother with the same pleading blue eyes that had been used on Derek.

"Alright I suppose Derek can come and help for awhile." said Meredith as she smiled at Katherine.

"Hooray!" shouted Katherine.

"Hooray." muttered Meredith under her breath.

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Meredith crept down the stairs after putting Katherine to bed hours later. Derek had helped Meredith move all the big things while Katherine had moved all the small and unbreakable things.

"She's asleep." said Meredith.

"She's a great kid Meredith. She's cute too which always has an extra plus." said Derek as she smiled and gave her the "McDreamy" look once again.

"Stop giving me the "McDreamy" look." said Meredith fiercely.

"What McDreamy look? Mere I'm not doing anything." said Derek as he walked closer to her.

For a moment they just stood there standing outside each-other moments later Derek moved towards Meredith and started kissing her hard and passionately. Meredith immediately responded back by unbuttoning his shirt, while he started biting her neck.

_They say old relationships sometimes lose their spark. Either they lose it or it sparkles into fireworks._


	3. Assumptions and Realizations

Thank you to all those that reviewed

**Thank you to all those that reviewed! It means a whole lot to me. This entire chapter is dedicated to you guys.**

Meredith awoke the next morning to find herself on the floor of the living wearing nothing but a blanket over her. She quickly wrapped it around her body and crept up the stairs trying not to wake a sleeping Katherine. She quickly jumped into the shower thinking what she had just done. She had slept with Derek Shepherd yet once again. Slept with another woman's boyfriend, fiancé or even worse husband. She really was an adulterous whore. She quickly washed her hair with her lavender shampoo and got out of the shower. She quickly got dressed and went to wake up Katherine to find Derek in there putting the finishing touches on her outfit. A little pair of jeans and a cute sweater and he was just finishing putting on her little Mary-Jane shoes.

"Mommy!" said Katherine as she jumped off from her spot on the bed and raced into Meredith's arms.

"Hi Kat. Did you sleep well last night?" asked Meredith as she stroked her hair.

"Uh-huh. Mommy look Derek got me all dressed this morning?" said an excited Katherine.

"I can see that." said Meredith looking directly at Derek when she said this.

"Well I figured your first day back, your morning would be a little stressful so I thought I could help." said Derek as he stood up.

"Thank you but that was not necessary at all. I can dress my own daughter." said Meredith angrily as she picked her daughter up and carried her down the stairs.

"Look Meredith I was just trying to help." said Derek as he followed quickly after her down the stairs and then reached the living room with her.

"Well stop trying to help! I can handle her myself. I've done this long enough, I can continue to do it without anyone's help." said Meredith as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed a banana and quickly unpeeled it and handed to Katherine." Now if you excuse me I don't want to be late on my first day back." said Meredith as she ushered Derek out of the house with her and locked the door behind them both. She quickly put Katherine into her seat and shut the door and walked back over to Derek.

"Look I know what you're trying to do. Just stop trying to get attached to her. Because when you do she'll get attached and I can't have her doing that." said Meredith.

"And why not?" asked Derek.

"Because I just can't." said Meredith as she got into the car and started to quickly drive off to the hospital. Leaving Derek very confused.

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Meredith quickly changed into her scrubs and went to look for Rose after she dropped Katherine off at daycare. She needed to apologize for what she had done. She couldn't live with the guilt. She found her in an x-ray room.

"Dr. Grey?" asked a surprised Rose.

"I'm sorry." said Meredith.

"Sorry for what?" asked Rose bewildered at what she could be talking about.

"I slept with Derek. And I'm sorry for ruining your relationship or marriage or what ever you two have going on." rambled Meredith.

"Dr. Grey." started Rose.

"I'm really not a bad person. I'm not the kind of person that tries to ruin relationships intently. You have to believe me when I say I'm kind good hearted person." said Meredith continuing to ramble.

"Dr. Grey." said Rose a little bit louder finally getting her attention.

"Yes." said Meredith.

"You don't have to apologize because you haven't done anything. Derek and I aren't together. We haven't been for almost two and a half years. There is no need to apologize." said Rose.

"Oh." said Meredith sitting down in an empty chair." I'm sorry I just assumed..." said Meredith.

"It's quite alright. I know what you assumed." said Rose." But now you can un-assume." she said as she smiled at her and grabbed an x-ray and left the room, leaving a very dazed Meredith.

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Meredith and just finished cleaning up dinner and had put Katherine to bed, when she heard a knock at the door. She opened it to reveal Derek standing outside on the porch. She shook her head angrily.

"Why are you trying to get close to her?'' asked Meredith.

"Why is it so bad if I try and get close to my daughter?" said Derek as Meredith gasped.

**Dun Dun Dun! I know I'm evil but if you guys review and like this chapter enough then I promise to have a new chapter up by tonight! **


	4. Questions Galore and Friendship Parents

Thanks everyone for the wonderful reviews

_**Thanks everyone for the wonderful reviews! I didn't know the story would go over this big. My story feels much loved.**_

"How do you know she's yours?" asked Meredith as her voice quivered.

"Come on Meredith I'm not stupid. She's got my curls and my eyes and I slept with you right around the time she should have been conceived." said Derek as he stood outside in the rain as it started to lightly drizzle.

"Why don't you come in? We can talk about it over coffee." said a flustered Meredith.

Derek entered the house and sat down at the table. He quickly took of his jacket and hung it over the chair as Meredith ran into the kitchen to make coffee. Not moments after she was gone Katherine came trudging down the stairs coughing up a storm and crying.

"Hey Kat. What's wrong?" said Derek as he picked her up and sat her in his lap, rubbing her back trying to seize the coughing.

"I don't feel good Derek." said Katherine as she leaned her tiny head onto his chest, Derek almost melted. Meredith walked in a second later after hearing this. She walked over to them and stroked her hair.

"Kat sweetie, do you need your nebulizer?" asked Meredith.

Katherine shook her head in an upward yes motion as Meredith went and fetched the nebulizer and then put the medicine treatment on it. She then stuck the tool into Katherine's mouth and turned on the machine. Around half an hour later Katherine's treatment had finished, and she had fallen asleep in Derek's arms. Derek quickly put her upstairs and then came back down.

"She has asthma?" asked Derek as he sat down next to Meredith.

"Minor. She was a preemie baby, so most preemies have minor asthma till they turn five." said Meredith as she stared at the dark liquid sitting in the mug in front of her.

They sat in awkward silence for about two minutes until Derek spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" asked Derek.

"Because you were obviously trying to happy with "normal" Rose and I didn't want to be the one to rain on your parade." Meredith answered sharply.

Derek stared down at his coffee after her response.

"Could I maybe ask some questions about her?" asked Derek.

Meredith sighed. "Of course you can. I'm not going to deprive you of information about your daughter." said Meredith as she relaxed in the chair slightly more. "Ask away." she finished.

"Well for starters what's her birthday?" asked Derek.

"She was born on January 11, 2009." answered Meredith.

"Was she born vaginally? Or c-section? You said she was a preemie how many weeks early was she?" asked Derek quickly.

"C-section, I honestly couldn't handle a birth by myself. Too stressful in a new town with new people and new living arrangements." said Meredith almost embarrassed to admit she'd been afraid of having and brining home a baby by herself." She was two and a half weeks early. No complications though. A perfectly healthy baby." said Meredith with a small smile." I might have picture if you want to see her as an infant?" asked Meredith.

"Of course." said Derek.

Meredith quickly went into the living room and came back with a framed photo of her and Katherine. Meredith smiling down at her as Katherine slept peacefully in her arms.

"What age did she start walking? And what was her first word?" asked Derek intrigued to know more about his daughter.

"She was about 13 months old when she began running not walking. She went from crawling to running." said Meredith with a laugh." Her first word was doggie, because I used to take her to a park that would have lots of dogs. She would just sit and watch them, completely content. "said Meredith.

Derek sat in silence until her could finally speak again.

"Are we going to tell her about me?" asked Derek.

"Of course we are. She deserves to know. We'll figure out a way." said Meredith as she cleared the coffee mugs as Derek put his jacket on.

"Yeah we'll explain it in two year old terms." said Derek with a smile.

"Yeah." said Meredith. "I think we can do it. Parenting as friends should be too hard." said Meredith as she walked to the door with him and opened it. "Yeah we'll just be friends raising a kid." said Meredith as she waved goodnight and shut the door.

"Yeah friends." said Derek with a small smile as he walked to his car.


	5. Meeting Daddy

Apparently the last chapter wasn't liked as much as the others

_Apparently the last chapter wasn't liked as much as the others. I hope this chapter will go over bigger._

Meredith sighed as she came into her apartment racing, with Katherine on her hip. She was having Derek over tonight for dinner and an emergency surgery had made her late. All she had to do was throw Pillsbury biscuits in the oven since Izzie had dropped of dinner consisting of roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans.

"Momma why you rushing around?" asked Katherine as she sat in her booster at the table.

"Well because Derek is coming for dinner tonight, and Mommy got home a little late, so she's running late. Meredith explained.

"Derek's coming to eating with us?" asked Katherine excitedly

"Uh-huh. So we have to use our big girl manners. Right?" Meredith reminded Katherine.

"Yes Momma." said Katherine as the doorbell rang.

Meredith quickly went over to answer the door and opened it to reveal Derek.

"Hi." said Meredith as she closed it behind him, after he entered.

"Hi. These are for you." said Derek handing Meredith a small bouquet of flowers." And this for Katherine after telling her the news." said Derek quietly on the end part.

"Derek you didn't have get her or me anything. She's spoiled enough already." joked Meredith. "But thank you." said Meredith as she went into the kitchen to check on dinner and get a vase and water for the flowers.

"Hi Derek!" shouted Katherine from her booster at the end of the table.

"Hey Kat." said Derek as he went over and kissed her forehead.

"Derek, you get to stay for dinner tonight. Izzie made it!" said Katherine.

"Katherine! We're not supposed to tell him that." said Meredith as she brought in the chicken. "Although he probably could tell because it doesn't taste as yucky as Mommy's cooking." said Meredith as they sat down and all started to eat. They all talked about what Katherine's favorite things to do are, how daycare is going and the upcoming holiday of Halloween. About twenty minutes into the meal Meredith cleared her throat making Derek realize they were going to tell Katherine now.

"Katherine sweetie Mommy and Derek have to tell you something. Something that you're going to have to try to understand as a big girl would." said Meredith as she looked at Katherine.

"Okay." said Katherine as she smiled at Meredith.

"Well you know how you sometimes ask about where your Daddy is and I always say you'll know when you meet him. You're going to get to meet him." said Meredith.

"I am?" said Katherine suddenly excited.

"Uh-huh. Would you like to meet him?" asked Meredith with a small grin on her face amused by her daughter's excitement.

'Yes! Where is he?" asked Katherine looking frantically around.

"Honey, Derek is your Daddy?" said Meredith as Katherine looked at Derek almost studying him for a moment. She then unbuckled her self from her booster seat and jumped down and ran and sat on Derek's lap hugging him hard. Meredith felt tears well up in her eyes as she saw this take place.

"I have a Daddy!" said Katherine as she kissed Derek's cheek and kneeled on her knees and looked Derek square in his mirroring eyes as she asked. "Daddy do you love me?" asked Katherine innocently.

"Of course I do." said Derek as he kissed her forehead.

"Then how come I've never met you?" asked Katherine

"Well you see, when you were born Mommy and I had different plans for what was going to happen next. So you Mommy thought it would be a good idea if you went and lived in Maine for awhile, while I sorted some things out. When you came here this week, Mommy told me about you and I couldn't wait to meet you." said Derek.

"Oh. Okay. So you do love me?"

"All the way to the moon and back." said Derek as he held her close.

"I love you Daddy." said Katherine.

"I love you too sweetie. More then you could ever imagine.


	6. Soap Eyes and Seattle Thunderstorms

Thanks everyone for the reviews

_Thanks everyone for the reviews! They are most definitely a boost of self confidence. This chapter I had a great time writing and I hope everyone has a great time reading._

Derek ran quickly to answer the door of the trailer. Tonight would be the first night Katherine slept over at his place. He wasn't nervous, just scared something might go wrong, or she might want Meredith. He ignored his worries and went to answer the door to reveal Katherine smiling brightly and Meredith with a worried look on her face.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea." said Meredith as she kept a protective hold around Katherine who was in her arms.

"We'll be fine." said Derek as Katherine reached out for him and he took her. "Right Kat?" Derek asked towards Katherine as he tickled her.

"Right." said Katherine as she giggled.

Meredith smiled as her daughter laughed. "Alright, I'm just at "Luigi's Restaurant on a date , if you need anything, or she wants to come home, do not hesitate to call." said Meredith as she handed Katherine's little back pack filled with pajamas, toothbrush and clothes for tomorrow, along with her bath stuff. She then went and kissed Katherine on the cheek and gave her a side- hug.

"Mommy will see you in the morning. Be good for Daddy now okay?" said Meredith.

"Okay Mommy. I love you." said Katherine as she hugged Meredith again.

"I love you too." said Meredith as she kissed her one last time and then got into her car waved and drove away slowly.

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Derek and Katherine had just relaxed and played for the last couple of hours. They had played "Hide and Seek", watched "Cinderella" and now it was time for Katherine's bedtime bath. Derek and Katherine slowly walked into the tiny bathroom and Derek sat her on the toilet as he filled the tub up with warm water. He made sure to add the bubbles she had brought with her. He quickly undressed Katherine and put her in the tub, she played happily for about ten minutes. Derek then decided it was a good time to wash her hair. He slowly squeezed some soap into his hand and lathered her hair up. Five short moments later, he heard Katherine cry out.

"Ow! "said Katherine as her eye.

"No Katherine don't rub your eye that makes it sting." said Derek as he quickly got up and wet a towel and wiped her eye.

"Ow! Daddy it stings." said Katherine as she started to cry.

Derek quickly went into action by rinsing the shampoo that was still in her hair and quickly taking her out of the tub and wrapping her in a towel. He carried her into his room. He quickly changed her into her pajamas, Katherine still crying because of her eye the entire time.

"Alright let Daddy look at it." said Derek as he sat her in his lap and made her open her eye, so he could take a look at it. Nothing abnormal, besides slightly being blood-shot. Katherine still continued to cry due to the stinging. "Alright. It's alright, Daddy's got you now. Everything's okay." said Derek as he rubbed slow circles on her back and kissed her fore-head. She eventually fell asleep to the pitter patter of the Seattle rain outside. Derek then moved her to the cot on the fold out couch in the living/kitchen area. He tucked her in and then went to change for bed. He had just put on flannel pajama pants on as he heard the doorbell ring. "Who in their right mind, would come out in this kind of weather?" though Derek to him-self as he pulled on a grey t-shirt and went to answer the door. He opened it to reveal a rain soaked sobbing Meredith.

"Meredith." said Derek his voice filing with compassion as he saw her. He quickly took her hand and guided her inside and pulled her into his arms.

"I'm so sorry." said Meredith.

_**That's how I'm leaving it, until my next update. So you better review! **_


	7. Problems Problems Problems

Derek stood and just held for a few minutes

Derek stood and just held for a few minutes. He cries becoming muffled, until he noticed the blood trickling from her elbow, and the notable piece of glass in it.

"Mere come on let's get you dried and cleaned up." said Derek as he walked with her, his hand resting on the small of his back towards his bedroom. She sat down on his bed, still crying. She now had her hands wrapped her arms, slowly rubbing them up and down. Derek seeing no indication that she was going to undress her-self went and pulled her soaking wet shirt off and then removed her pants. He then put her into an extra pair of flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt of his. He then went into the bathroom and got gauze and tweezers. He then removed the glass carefully and put gauze on her arm and wrapped it with medical tape.

"I'm so sorry." said Meredith as she started massively coughing. She coughed normally a few times, until she started to gag and cough up blood. Derek's hand went instantly went under her mouth as he led her to the bathroom, where she continued to cough and sputter for five minutes, but Derek knew she had lost a decent amount of blood.

"Mere come on we're going to the hospital." said Derek as he called Cristina to come and stay with Katherine. The moment Cristina arrived Derek picked up a whimpering Meredith and quickly ran and put her in the car. He then drove quickly to the hospital. Silently he prayed that everything medically was okay. He just couldn't stand to lose her.

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Derek raced into the hospital parking lot and parked quickly. Meredith had been going in and out of consciousness the whole car ride. He quickly picked her up in his arms and raced into the hospital.

"I need some help over here." yelled in doctor tone Derek immediately grabbing the attention of Izzie and Alex who were on call.

"What happened?" asked Izzie as Alex got a gurney and he and Derek quickly lifted her on.

"What the hell is going on?" asked the Chief coming over noticing it was Meredith.

"We need a trauma room." said Alex as he looked at her pale skin. "How much blood has she lost?" asked Izzie.

"Too much." said Derek as he went to follow them in.

"Shepherd you need to stay here." said the Chief.

"But she needs me. She's beyond her normal self at this point." said Derek.

"Derek." called out Meredith from the gurney and tired reaching for his hand.

"I need you to stay here." said the Chief as they whisked her off to a trauma room leaving Derek.

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The last twenty minutes had been filled with the entire test available and definitely worry. Meredith who was now fully awake thanks to an IV had sat quietly through the whole procedure. Alex quickly did one last test. An ultrasound just to make sure all things were working fine in there. He quickly smeared the gel over her stomach and took the wand and look for any pre-caution, before he could look any further he stopped shocked at what he saw.

"Oh My God." said Alex as he ushered Izzie over to look.

"Oh Mere." said Izzie as she looked at Meredith who obviously knew what was wrong and had tears in her eyes.

"I wanted to tell him. But I can't get hurt again." spoke Meredith quietly.

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Alex walked into the waiting room where Derek was waiting anxiously.

"So?' asked Derek as he stood up as he saw Alex and walked over to him.

"The blood was just due to stress. You can take her home tonight." said Alex as he heard Derek sigh a sign of relief. "However there is a medical condition that I'm going to leave Meredith to tell you." said Alex as he walked away.

Derek quickly walked into Meredith's room where she was putting her shoes on. He saw her struggling, because once again she was sobbing. He bent down in front of her and helped her. As he finished he looked up at her as she spoke.

"I'm pregnant. And I went to have an abortion." said Meredith.

_**I'm evil I know! But if I have an inbox filled with reviews tomorrow definitely count on an update!**_


	8. As Long We're Together

Thanks everyone who reviewed last chapter

_**Thanks everyone who reviewed last chapter! I didn't realize when I wrote the first chapter, that this story would be such a hit! I hope you all continue to love my story!**_

Derek's breath caught in his throat. He felt sick to his stomach. He knew something was up when she showed up crying. Meredith rarely ever sobbed like she had at his doorstep.

"I went to have an abortion, but I couldn't so it. I realized that I want this child with you. I want this baby to know who its father is from the very start. Not only do I want the baby to love you. I want to love you again. I want to be with you. I want to a build a house with you have a family and die at 110 with you. Because I love you Derek Shepherd and I really hope you still love me." said Meredith as she wiped the tears falling from her eyes.

Derek stood there trying to take in all she said. Meredith looked up thinking he wasn't accepting that she was trying. She shook her head and quickly got up.

"I'll just go." said Meredith as she went toward the door. Before she could get any farther Derek grabbed her by the arm.

"I want that too. All of it. I want a lifetime with you. I want a marriage; more children, a big house and to die at 110 in your arms." said Derek.

Meredith gave a small smile as tears ran down her face. Derek gently pulled her into hid arms. She cried silent tears that eventually subsided when Derek started to stroke her hair. She relaxed in the calmness in his arms and they soon left to go back to the trailer to a sleeping Katherine.

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Meredith walked back into the trailer after seeing Cristina off. She has to explain all to Cristina. About how she tripped and got glass in her arm all the way too confessing her love for McDreamy all over again. She explained though this time they were taking it slow. They were going to talk and get a real sense of each other. Meredith entered the trailer at nearly three thirty in the morning. She quickly changed her tee-shirt, for it was covered in blood stains and pulled another one from Derek's drawer. Derek entered the room after another shower about ten minutes later.

"Coming to bed?" asked Derek as he climbed under the blankets and lay down on his side, perched on his elbow.

Moments later they heard Katherine crying. She was calling for Derek but Meredith went anyway.

"Momma why are you here?" asked Katherine as she whimpered and the snuggled her way into Meredith's arms.

"I came to keep you and Daddy company." said Meredith as she stroked her daughter's hair. "What's wrong Kat?" asked Meredith as she tried to soothe the crying child.

"My belly hurts." said Katherine as she started to cry.

"Alright I'm sure you'll be okay." said Meredith as she comforted her daughter. Moments later loud gagging escaped from Katherine's mouth. Meredith turned her so she would get sick on the floor. When she stopped, she started crying loud scared sobs. Derek came into the room after hearing her get sick.

"Alright sweetie, your okay. Your belly will feel better now." said Meredith as she tried to soothe her. "Come on Mommy's going to get you cleaned up." said Meredith as she started for the bathroom, while Derek started to clean up the floor. She gently removed Katherine's pajamas and stuck her in the water. She quickly washed her and put on the extra pair of pajamas she had thrown in her overnight bag. She picked her up and carried her outside. She found Derek back in bed sitting up and waiting for her. Meredith placed Katherine in between them, feeling that she would relax and fall back to sleep if she was with them. About twenty minutes later after much reassuring that Mommy and Daddy were right there, she finally fell asleep.

"Still up for the ride of parenting?" asked Meredith as she lay down yet once again and closed her eye.

"You know me. I love a good adventure."

_**Well? What do you think? The next update probably isn't going to be for a few days too to I have to post the last chapter to my other story "Day by Day." You should all check that one out too. Anyway this story I'm probably only going to make ten chapters with possibly a sequel, but I'm not quite sure yet. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter! Reviews are always appreciated! **_


	9. Aromatherapy and Cold Feet

Well it took a shorter time to update my other story then I thought

_Well it took a shorter time to update my other story then I thought._

_**Two Months Later.**_

The past two months had completely and utterly flown. Between the holidays and Katherine's third birthday and the pregnancy, Meredith felt exhausted. And Derek could tell, he had her take a day off from work and do something completely relaxing. He had sent her to a local spa for the day. She was treated to hair-cut, highlights, manicure and pedicure, full body massage and a facial. Meredith walked into her apartment to find Derek cooking dinner for her and Kat, while Kat watched "Snow White."

"Mommy!" said Katherine as she raced over to hug her. "Your hair looks pretty." said Katherine as she reached out and touched Meredith's newly cut hair.

"Thanks sweetie." said Katherine as she kissed her and left Katherine to her movie to go in the kitchen and look for Derek. She found him hard at work on what looked like Spaghetti Bolognese, a fresh salad and toasted bread. He turned when he heard her enter the kitchen. He looked up and smiled at her.

"Someone looks relaxed." said Derek as he came and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her. "And beautiful, as always." said Derek as he put his nose in her hair and deeply breathed in the relaxing scent of lavender.

"I am very relaxed. I needed it. I forgot what it felt like to be almost four months pregnant and trying to work around it." said Meredith as she laid her head on his chest. "Thank you." said Meredith.

"Your quite welcome." said Derek as he gently let go of her and went to stir the pasta sauce. "I was thinking we could just eat and maybe curl up with Kat and watch a movie in our pajamas." suggested Derek as he pulled the bread out of the oven.

"Sounds perfect, I could use warm pajamas and a good old classic Disney movie. Maybe I'll even attempt to make hot chocolate." joked Meredith.

"Well how about we start with dinner. Why don't you grab Katherine and then we'll eat." said Derek as he brought the pasta to the table along with the salad and bread.

"Sounds good." said Meredith as she went into the living room to retrieve Katherine.

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After all the dishes had been cleared Meredith took Katherine into her room to get her pajamas on.

"Mommy I'm freezing." said Katherine as she shivered as Meredith took her out of her clothes.

"I know sweetie. Mommy is cold too. It's very cold outside today. Too cold. Mommy's going to ask Daddy though if he can make the house a little warmer." said Meredith as she changed Katherine into warm fuzzy foot pajamas.

"Okay." said Katherine as she reached for Meredith and was pulled into her arms.

"Derek?" called Meredith as she walked into her bedroom with Katherine and pulled out her own pair of pajamas. She quickly pulled her pants off and pulled them on while Katherine wasn't looking.

"Yes?" called Derek as he walked into the room.

"Is the heat up all the way in here?" asked Meredith as she pulled a long sleeve thermal shirt onto her growing abdomen.

"I just checked. Yeah it is." said Derek as he pulled an extra pair of pajamas he left at Meredith's apartment incase he stayed the night. "It's five degrees below zero, so I'm assuming the house is going to be colder than normal." said Derek as he went into the bathroom to change and emerged five minutes later.

"Daddy I'm freezing." said Katherine as she reached for Derek

"Aw, I know sweetie." said Derek as he picked her up." Why don't we watch that new movie we rented and we'll use a blanket. Okay?" said Derek as walked into the living room carrying Katherine and set her down. Meredith then joined them five minutes later she quickly pulled the blanket that rested on the sofa onto her lap. Derek sat on the end of the sofa, with Meredith next to him and Katherine's feet in Meredith's lap and her head resting on Derek's arm. The large blanket sprawled out all over the three of them.

"So what are we watching?" asked Meredith as Derek pressed play on the DVD player.

"Enchanted!" said Katherine excitedly. "I think the baby with like it too!" said Katherine.

They had recently told Katherine about the new baby and she couldn't be more excited. She understood that this baby also had Derek for a Daddy and greatly appreciated that.

"I think so too." said Meredith as she tickled Katherine's feet.

_They say the most important thing in a surgeon's life is surgery, itself. That you can't be the best of both worlds. Maybe I'll be the one to prove you can._


	10. Bigger Houses and Baby's Birthday

Thanks everyone for the reviews

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews! They helped the writer's block a lot!**_

_Five Months Later_

At nine months pregnant, Meredith just wanted it all to be over. No more weird cravings, no more swollen ankles and she wanted to wear her own clothes again. And now Derek wanted to take her out tonight. She really didn't want to go, but they had already gotten Izzie to come and stay with Katherine. She sighed as she quickly threw on a black wrap shirt and jeans, after being informed by Derek that where they were going was not dressy. and quickly did her make-up. She then quickly threw on black flats grabbed her bag and started down the stairs.

"I'm ready." said Meredith as she came downstairs to a waiting Derek talking to Izzie.

"Great." said Derek as he took her hand and led her out the door.

"Bye Katherine be good for Aunt Izzie." called Meredith to Katherine as she shut the door behind her.

Meredith and Derek then walked to his SUV and Meredith slowly got in. Her stomach making it impossible to be comfortable. She slowly buckled her self and they started towards their destination. Along the ride Meredith started to feel slight twinges in her back. She didn't want to ruin Derek's surprise and tell him, so she just ignored the twinge, knowing it could be false labor. They pulled past where Derek's trailer used to be until he sold it last month. They drove past and up part of his land until they reached a house. Meredith gasped when she saw it. It was a big house with yellow siding and cranberry window shutters with a white wooden wrap around porch.

"Do you like it?" asked Derek as he saw Meredith's face light up.

"Derek its beautiful." said Meredith as she stared in wonder at the house.

"I'm glad you like it because it's ours." said Derek as he grinned.

"Ours. Unless you're intending on marrying someone else." said Derek as he pointed at the engagement ring on her finger.

That's right Meredith Grey was getting married. Less than two months again, Derek proposed and of course Meredith accepted.

"Wait. This is our house." said Meredith as stared at the house with smile trying to still ignore the twinge in her back.

"Yep. I told the contractors to hurry and build a house, because my fiancée was due by the end of June and we needed a bigger house for our family then. Do you like it? It's already decorated, so we don't have to worry about that." asked Derek.

"I love it." said Meredith as she squeezed his and as a show of affection and due to the pain.

"Would you like to see it?" asked Derek as he turned off the car ignition.

"Of course." said Meredith eager to get out and walk and see if it would ease the pain.

They got out and slowly went inside to explore. When they entered their spacious living room painted a nice cream color. It had red leather couches and a matching chair with a big screen TV and a book case filled with medical journals and children books. They then moved onto the kitchen which looked like a kitchen from one of those cooking magazines. They went onto to explore the rest of the house seeing the master bedroom, Katherine's room, the nursery and all the spare bedrooms. They were in the master bedroom when Meredith couldn't hold in the pain anymore and grabbed the bed post, very hard turning her knuckles white and cried out in agony.

"Ah." said Meredith as she closed her eyes and gripped the bed post hard.

"Mere?" said Derek coming up behind her and grabbing her shoulders and then gently massaging them ever so slightly. "Everything alright?" asked Derek knowing her response.

"We've got to go to the hospital. Call Dr. Johnson tell her we're on our way." said Meredith as she slowly got up after the contraction was over.

"I'm on it." said Derek whipping out his cell phone as he helped her down the hallway and slowly down the stairs. "The baby's ready to meet us." said Derek.

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Meredith sighed as they entered the hospital. She was immediately put into a wheel- chair as Derek went to the front desk of Labor/Delivery. He came back looking relieved and nervous.

"Umm Mere, Dr. Johnson isn't available until next week. She's away on family emergency, so she called a medical colleague. Addison." said Derek as Addison rounded the corner.

"Hey." said Addison as she hugged Meredith and then Derek.

"Why didn't you tell us you were coming?" said Meredith as she happily hugged her friend.

Meredith and Addison had made up before she left for Maine. They had shared some stories and Meredith emailed her as someone to talk to during Katherine's pregnancy. Even Derek and Addison had made up and mutually agreed they were better as friends then husband and wife.

"Well I thought I'd surprise you both. Bigger question how far apart are your contractions?" asked Addison as she watched Meredith grip the wheel-chair in pain.

"About eight minute's apart." said Meredith as she gripped Derek's hand. "Ah." said Meredith as she squeezed Derek's hand.

"Alright your last birth was a planned c-section, so I must warn you this is going to be a little more intense. But somewhat faster since it is your second birth." said Addison as she wheeled the wheel-chair down to her room. "I'll give you a minute to change in a gown and then examine you. Derek you can help her. Nothing inappropriate though." said Addison as she left the room.

"Derek I can't do this. I change my mind I want a c-section again." said Meredith as she quickly stepped into a gown as a contraction came over he making her fall helplessly into Derek's waiting arms.

"Mere it's a little late to change your mind." joked Derek, but then took it back when he heard Meredith whimper in pain. "Hey I'm right here." said Derek as he stroked her hair." We'll do this together okay." said Derek.

Meredith shook her head as he helped her back into the bed as Addison re-entered the room. "Alright, let's see how we're doing." said Addison as she sat down on the end of the bed and examined Meredith. "Alright Meredith you're at about seven centimeters already. If I break your water it shouldn't be long now." said Addison.

"Go ahead." said Meredith. "It can't get any worse than then this." said Meredith as she gripped Derek's hand.

"Alright." said Addison. "It's going to hurt a little." said Addison as she broke he water. "Nice and clear. Perfect." said Addison as she removed her gloves and left.

"Derek I can't do this." said Meredith as she sighed and gripped his hand. "I won't make it till the end."

"Hey." said Derek as he pushed back some sweaty hair matting up against her forehead." If anyone can do this. It's you. I have complete assurance that you can do this." said Derek as he kissed her forehead. "Alright?" said Derek as he laced her fingers between hers.

"Okay." said Meredith.

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"Alright Meredith." said Addison as she entered the room. "I here you're a ten centimeters. It's time to start pushing. On the next contraction you're going to bear down and push." said Addison as she put on her surgical gown and gloves and sat at the edge of the bed. "Alright Meredith here comes the nest contraction. Push." said Addison.

Meredith bore down as she gripped Derek's hand. She grunted as she pushed all the way till the eight counts, when she should've made it to ten.

"Meredith you need to push harder. Nothing's happening." said Addison as Meredith pushed again.

"I can't. Derek please, I can't do this. I just can't." said Meredith as she started to cry. "I'm just so tired." said Meredith was tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I know Mere. But the baby is almost here. We're almost ready to meet our baby." said Derek as he stroked her hand.

"I just can't do it…" said Meredith as more tears rolled freely down her cheeks.

Derek stroked her hand and then quickly climbed behind her, so she'd have him closer and to help her push.

"Come on Mere. Give us a big push." said Derek as he held her hands.

When the next contraction came Meredith pushed grunting her way through it. The same thing with the following contraction. She pushed till she felt something completely different between her legs.

"Is that it's..?" asked Meredith before being cut off by Derek.

"That's the top of the baby's head." said Derek as he guided her hand down to feel the top.

"Good job Mere. One more big push and the baby's head should be out." said Addison as Meredith started to push again. "Good the head's out. Hang on don't push."

"Don't push?" questioned Meredith.

"There's the cord around its neck." said Meredith as she un-did the cord. "Alright go ahead and push." said Addison.

Meredith grunted and pushed down gripping Derek's hand. She pushed hard until she felt something slip out of her. Was that the baby?

"It's a boy." said Addison as she held up the tiny pink wriggling wailing infant.

"A boy." said Meredith as she looked behind her at Derek.

"A boy." said Derek in awe as he kissed Meredith gently.

Addison then placed the baby on her chest as Derek cut the cord. Undoing the bond between Mom and baby. Meredith was the instructed to rub gently with the blanket on his skin to get him to cry.

"Hi little guy." said Meredith as she gently rubbed the blanket on him. "We love you so much buddy." said Meredith as she kissed the top of his head.

_**Well I thought that was a good way to end the chapter! Some of you asked if I had a picture of what Katherine looks like. I found the perfect one! The link is posted below. The picture on the right is what I envision she looks like.**_

_**blog./hello/1336992/1024/taleahThenAndNow-2005.05.21-22.39.42.jpg**_


	11. Liam Patrick and Lily Grace

Thanks everyone for the reviews

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews! I hope everyone was wishing for a boy. I just figured a girl and a little boy is the perfect little family. Anyway enough rambling from me, read on!**_

Meredith swaddled Liam Patrick Shepherd and fixed his hat the next morning after nursing him. Derek and she had finally decided on a name and Meredith thought it was the perfect name for their little guy. Weighing in at only seven pounds even, he was so tiny. Derek being that he wasn't around when Katherine was this small to pick her up, was very nervous of picking him up and supporting his head. Today Katherine was coming to see her brother. She was beyond thrilled that he was finally here. She fixed her blankets and put her back against the pillow, more comfortable now in her own pajamas. She heard a knock at the door and then Derek entered holding Katherine and a bear holding a miniature "It's a boy!" balloon.

"Hi sweetie." said Meredith as Derek came closer to the bed.

"Hi Mommy." said Katherine excitedly, yet quiet enough not to disturb her brother. "This is for Liam." said Katherine putting the bear next to Meredith's side, to examine her brother more closely.

"I'm sure he loves it." said Meredith as she pushed some of Katherine's lose curls fraying from her pony-tail.

"Kat did you tell Mommy that you saw the house." said Derek reminding Katherine to tell her Mother about her bedroom.

"Not yet. Mommy our new house looks like my doll house!" said Katherine excitedly. "And my room has a princess castle in it!" said Katherine.

"I'm glad you like it. When Mommy and Liam get to come home, we're going to stay there. That will be our new house." explained Meredith. "That's why you've been helping Daddy move some special things." finished Meredith.

"Okay. I like our new house. And my new brother." said Katherine as she kissed Liam's forehead. "I love you."

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Two days later, Meredith and Liam were finally aloud to go home. Meredith had just finished getting changed and was about to change Liam's diaper and get him ready to finally go home. She came into the room to find Derek holding Liam and talking to him.

"So you're going to have to stick with Daddy and Uncle Mark and become a Yankee fan. Mommy's a Red Sox fan. We can't ever root for her favorite team." joked Derek as he saw Meredith come out from the bathroom.

"Isn't Daddy funny?" joked Meredith as Liam began to fuss and Meredith took him back. "Aw buddy what's the matter? Do you need to get out of this icky hospital outfit?" said Meredith as she laid him on the bed and changed him into a green onesie with little frogs on them, with a matching hat and finished by wrapping him in a green blanket. She then placed him in his navy car seat carrier and pushed the hood up because it was a warm sunny June day.

"Are we ready to go home?" asked Derek as a nurse pushed a wheel-chair into the room for Meredith.

"More then ready." said Meredith as she handed Derek the carrier and sat down.

As she was wheeled down she looked down to see an adoption agency taking a wailing infant into her arms. Meredith immediately felt her heart soften and immediately made the nurse halt her and she got out.

"Is there anyway I can help? I'm Dr. Grey one of the Heads of Neurosurgery." said Meredith as she walked over to the woman.

"Oh hello. Um well there's not much even I can do. Her birth-mother was very young. She decided to give her up for adoption. But the problem is there is a limited amount of room in the infant area, which means she would have to go to another agency, possibly out of Seattle if someone doesn't adopt her." explained the frazzled woman as she was handed a pink carrier by the nurse and didn't seem to know what to do.

Meredith looked at Derek with pleading eyes. He shook his head slowly, indicating it was okay.

"What if my husband and I wanted to possibly adopt her?" asked Meredith.

"Why would two people that just had an infant want to adopt another?" asked the woman curiously.

"Listen my mother was a surgeon. She was more of surgeon than a mother. I'm just trying to do what my mother never did. Have a healthy family. I just can't stand to see something this tiny, go somewhere by herself." said Meredith as she stroked the baby's arm.

The woman smiled genuinely at her after hearing this. "Well the first step is to take her home tonight. See how she and your family adjust to her. If it works out I can have the paper ready in the morning." said the woman.

"Okay great. Then we'll meet you back here tomorrow morning." said Meredith as she was handed the carrier and the little girl.

"Very well, see you tomorrow." said the woman as she let Seattle Grace.

Meredith sighed as she walked back over with the carrier and sat it on her lap.

"Are we crazy for even considering this?" asked Meredith looking at Derek as they continued to the exit.

"Maybe we are. But look at that little face." said Derek as he looked at the little girl, his heart melting a little.

"Well who could resist you sweetie?" said Meredith as they reached their SUV.

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Shortly later, they arrived home to Izzie who was staying with Katherine. Izzie's eyes caught the pink carrier. Her eyebrows shot up as she gathered her things. Meredith signaled that she would call her later. Izzie nodded and quickly left. Meredith sighed as she brought both carriers into the living room. Katherine quickly came running in after her mother.

"Mommy why is there two babies now?" asked Katherine as she wriggled onto the couch next to her mother.

"Well sweetie. This little baby girl doesn't have a Mommy and Daddy and she would have to live somewhere far away if she didn't get parents. So Mommy and Daddy brought her home to see if she likes it here. If she does she gets to become your sister and live here forever." explained Meredith as best as she could.

"Oh." said Katherine. "What's her name?"

"She doesn't have one yet. Don't worry though we'll find a name for her." said Meredith as she kissed Katherine's forehead and took the carriers into the gender neutral nursery.

Since they didn't know Liam was a boy till he was born they had painted the room yellow and bought a cherry wood sleigh crib. They had white and green accents around the room. Perfect for a boy and girl. Meredith sat down in the rocking chair placing the carriers in front of her as Derek walked into the room.

"Hey. Isn't it time to feed them?" asked Derek.

"Yeah I can do Liam because he's nursing, but your going to have to run to the drug store and pick up bottles and formula for Lily." said Meredith.

"Lily?" asked Derek as he smiled at Meredith.

"Well I figured she would need a name. So I thought Lily for the first name. What do you think for the middle name?" asked Meredith as she picked up a fussing Lily.

"I'm not sure. Here let me hold her. While you nurse Liam." said Derek taking Lily from Meredith's arms.

As Derek sat down on the carpet with Lily in his arms, suddenly her eyes opened. They were shockingly a mirror image of his.

"Well you fit in already." whispered Derek as he rubbed her arm soothingly. He studied her for another moment and then said "Grace."

"Grace?" questioned Meredith. "Lily Grace Shepherd. I think it has a nice ring to it. She'll be the perfect little addition to our family." said Meredith as she smiled at Lily and Derek.

_**Decently long chapter if I do say so myself. Hope you liked the twist! Reviews are greatly appreciated!!**_


	12. Running Away

Thanks everyone for the reviews

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews! Hope you enjoyed the last chapter as much as I did! Hope this chapter is long enough for your liking. Some definite dramarama at the end of this chapter. **_

Meredith sighed as she changed Lily's diaper. It had been almost two days since they had signed Lily's adoption papers. She was now legally theirs. She was born on the same day as Liam and Meredith loved that. She hoped they'd be close in life. Today they were having a relaxing Sunday. Derek went back to work tomorrow while Meredith stayed on leave for another ten weeks. Part of her really bad wanted to take a scalpel and cut into someone's brain or any other type of organ but she loved her kids more than the high after any surgery. She'd never be like Ellis.

"Derek." called Meredith as Liam began to fuss. "Please come up here and take Lily while I nurse Liam." called Meredith tiredly, who voice hoarse from the lack of sleep she had received in the last four days.

Derek quickly bounded up the stairs and took Lily and nestled her in the crook of his arm and watched Meredith sit down with Liam. He noticed that she had deep dark circles under her eyes and looked physically and mentally drained.

"Mere why don't you lie down after you feed Liam. I can keep things under control for a couple of hours. Until Liam needs to eat again, but I can feed Lily." said Derek.

"Derek, no it's okay. I can't leave you with both of them." said Meredith as she let Liam take a break from eating and burped him.

Derek tilted her chin with his free hand so she was looking up at him from the rocking chair. "Mere you need sleep. You have to take a nap. Okay?" asked Meredith shook her head indicating she would go along with his plan. He then planted a kiss on her forehead and retreated down-stairs with Lily.

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Meredith awoke two hours later to smell dinner cooking downstairs. She quickly scurried down the stairs to find Derek stirring soup and trying to tend to two fussing infants. She then took Lily as Derek took Liam. She then felt a tug on her jeans.

"Mommy read me this story." said Katherine as she held a book up to Meredith.

"Not now honey. I need to feed your sister." said Meredith.

Katherine pouted and moved toward her father.

"Daddy read me this story." said Katherine as she held the book up towards Derek.

"Not now Kat. I have to finish dinner." said Derek as he gently guided her away from him and the stove.

This had been going on for days, Katherine needing attention when Meredith and Derek couldn't give it to her. In Katherine's eyes this meant her Mommy and Daddy didn't love her anymore. She had dealt with this long enough. She went upstairs to her room, found a small backpack stuffed her teddy-bear, pajamas and favorite blanket and toy in it and zipped it up and crept downstairs. She carefully opened the door and shut it quietly behind her. She walked for blocks until she reached the big street. She then got scared when a big truck zipped passed her.

"Mommy? Daddy?" called Katherine as she started to cry. She then started to hysterically cry. "Mommy? Daddy?"

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"Derek have you seen Katherine? I wanted to make it up to her and read her that story." said Meredith as she laid Liam down in his crib.

"No maybe she's in her room?" suggested Derek as he laid Lily down in her crib.

"I already checked there. She's not." said Meredith starting to get worried. "I'm going to check downstairs." said Meredith as she quickly raced down the stairs. "Katherine?" she called as she ran threw the house. "Katherine?" she said as she checked the bathrooms." Katherine!" she called loudly, completely scared this time. She felt her throat nearly close up and her heart stop, yet she managed to say his name. "Derek!" she screamed.

Derek heard her voice from up in the nursery. He heard the panic. He raced down the stairs to see Meredith with tears running down her cheeks. "What?" asked Derek fearing what she'd say next.

"She's gone."


	13. Coming Home and Changing Ways

Thanks to the many reviewers for last chapter

_**Thanks to the many reviewers for last chapter! Reviews are definitely constructive criticism and every writer needs some. Anyway enough of my rambling, on with chapter. Enjoy!**_

Meredith cried as she bounced as she bounced a crying Lily and watched Derek talk to the police outside. Immediately after the authorities were called all of her "family" was called. Alex and Mark were outside with Derek talking and listening while he talked. Cristina was on call but had gotten off duty and was now here. Izzie was making tea and George was watching. Izzie handed Meredith a cup of tea as she put Lily down.

"This is all my fault." said Meredith as put the tea down on the coffee table. "If I had explained why we were so busy maybe she would've …" started Meredith before Izzie cut her off.

"Mere, you can't play the what if game. This is not your fault." said Izzie as she rubbed Meredith's leg. Right after that Derek walked back in with Mark and Alex.

"Derek. They need to find her now. I need to see her." said Meredith as she quickly got up.

"Mere. The police have ruled out kidnapping since all our windows were locked and we would have heard Katherine cry for help. She ran away on her own. She couldn't have gone too far, so the officers, myself, Izzie, Alex, George and Cristina are going to come with me. Mark's going to stay here with you." said Derek purposely choosing Mark knowing Meredith would try and fight to leave the house to help look for Katherine.

"No Derek I'm coming. I need to help. I have to help." said Meredith as tears ran down her cheeks.

"Mere, sweetie you can't." said Derek as everyone who was helping left to go outside. "We're going to find her. You need to stay here and take care of the babies. I'll call if you have anything." said Derek as he turned to leave Meredith grabbed his arm.

"If you leave me here I'll be just like her. Not caring about her family." said Meredith as she started to sob hysterically. "I can't be like her."

Derek kissed Meredith's forehead. You'll never ever be like her. I'm going to find her." said Derek as he let go of a sobbing Meredith and guided her over to Mark and left.

"I want to find her. I have to." said Meredith as she reached for the door handle, just as Mark grabbed her wrists.

"Mere. They're taking care of it. They'll find Kat." said Mark as he looked her in the eyes.

"I need to find my baby." said Meredith fiercely as she pounded his chest. "I need to find her." said Meredith as she broke down sobbing. "I want my baby back."

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Derek paced up and down the streets looking for Katherine. He had been looking for under an hour. This would be the second area they searched. They had spilt up into groups of three. Derek and Cristina had been looking for an hour before they had hit the main road.

"Derek!" called Alex as he searched the bushes.

Derek turned around and looked at him with question and worry evident on his face.

"I found her." said Alex as he pulled a whimpering Katherine out of the bushes with not a scratch on her only tears, most likely from being scared.

For the first time since Katherine had gone missing he felt a breath escape his lips.

Katherine poked her head up as Derek came over and immediately pulled her head out of Alex's shoulder and jumped into her father's arms still obviously scared and cried.

Derek immediately pulled her to him as close as he could and held her. "Katherine never ever do that again. We were so worried." said Derek as he kissed her forehead.

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Meredith sighed as she tucked Katherine in that night. When they were reunited Meredith had cried and just held her. Holding onto her for dear life, never wanting to let go ever again. Meredith and Derek had explained that now that the babies were here they needed a lot of attention because they couldn't say what they needed, unlike her. But they explained that they didn't love her any less. Meredith smiled as her daughter smiled peacefully in her sleep.

"I love you sweetheart; you'll always be a priority in my life. Forever" said Meredith as she kissed her daughter's forehead.

_They say sometimes with Mother/Daughter relationships, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Mine, well it fell very far away._


	14. Daddy Problems

Thanks everyone for the reviews

_Thanks everyone for the reviews. Hope everyone will like this chapter._

Meredith smiled as down at Liam as she changed his diaper. At almost four weeks old he was very alert. Lily on the other hand was even more alert, constantly with her blue eyes wide open. It amazed Meredith at how much they looked alike even though they weren't from the same blood roots. It was fate for Lily to be in her family.

"Mommy?" asked Katherine as she walked into the nursery.

"Yes sweetheart?" as she placed Liam in his crib and went on to change Lily's diaper.

"My show I was watching stopped playing. The news is on." said Katherine as she gave Liam a toy in his crib.

"Sometime that happens babe. Mommy will find another show for you to watch." said Meredith as she picked both Liam and Lily up and started down the stairs.

Meredith quickly put them into their bouncers with pacifiers and then proceeded to go into the living room. She was about to change the channel when she realized what was being broadcasted.

_Live From Seattle Grace Hospital._

"_I'm live from Seattle Grace Hospital. Right now there is a locker room of doctor's being held hostage by an elderly man with a gun. The man came in about an hour an a half ago. There are believed to be about 20 doctors in the room. The suspect is known as Thatcher Grey."_

Meredith didn't need to here another word. She instantly shut it off and called a teenager from across the street to stay with the kids and took off. She raced to the hospital where there were police lines and officers. She ran ahead and tried to get under the line.

"I'm sorry Miss but nobody is aloud on the scene." said the police officer as he stopped her.

"You don't understand. I'm Meredith Grey." said Meredith quickly.

The police officer looked at her and then let her through. She quickly ran into the hospital when she ran right in Lexie.

"Lexie you need to talk to him. Our friends our in there. Derek is in there." said Meredith.

"Mere I already tried. He won't listen to me or Molly. You need to talk to him." said Lexie.

"I… but I…um, incase you haven't noticed he isn't too fond of me, never has been." said Meredith.

"Well you need to try." said Lexie as she walked Meredith over to the door.

"Dad? It's Meredith. Listen I know I'm the last person you would ever want to talk you out of something, seeming mistakes I've made and everything… but you need to let me in. Whatever you need help with, I can help. If you need someone to listen, I can even do that. Just please don't harm anyone and open the door.

To Meredith's utter shock, she felt the door torn and open slowly. She slowly stepped in to see a room full of frightened doctors. She recognized immediately that Cristina, Izzie and Derek were among them. She stood there while her father bowed her head ashamed.

"Meredith I just don't… I wanted them too… I don't deserve to live and I wanted them to kill me. I never intended of actually killing anyone, but myself. After all I've done to your sisters and especially you. I hurt you in a way a father should never hurt his daughter."

Meredith sighed and smiled a said smile." Dad, we all make mistakes, life is full of mistakes that we can't help. I don't blame you for being yourself. It doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you, I just... I'm not going to hold a grudge.

Thatcher sighed and smiled as he pulled Meredith into a hug and whispered into her ear. "You are an extraordinary person Meredith. Extraordinary and so much more." said Thatcher as he kissed her cheek pulled her far enough away from him, so no impact would hit her and shot himself in the head.

"Dad no!" cried Meredith


	15. Deaths and Long Night Talks

Thanks everyone for the reviews

_Thanks everyone for the reviews. Hope everyone liked how I ended the last chapter, leaving you in suspense as much as I did! Just a question for everyone even though this story still has many chapters to go. I was considering doing a sequel with lots of drama. Would anyone be interested? _

Meredith sighed as she paced the hallway of the trauma center. Shortly after her father had shot himself the Chief and Bailey had rushed him to a trauma room and then into surgery to see if there was anyway they could remove the bullet. Derek had sat with her all three hours until a glum looking Chief came out. Meredith immediately looked up.

"I'm so sorry Meredith. We did everything we could." said Richard as he shook his head.

Meredith's breath caught in her throat. She felt tears well up in her eyes. No he hadn't been the best father over the years and no he most of the time up until the moment he shot himself wasn't very nice to her in general. But he was still her father. Someone who had been in her life up until she was five. One of the two people that gave her life. He wasn't the world's best father, but he was still hers.

"I'll leave you two alone." said Richard as he walked away slowly.

Meredith stood frozen in the same position she had met Richards eye in. She stood there until she felt a hand firmly grasp her shoulder. She turned around to Derek.

"He's dead." said Meredith

"I'm so sorry Mere." said Derek as he pulled her into his embrace.

That's when she lost it. Her tears came pouring down and she started sobbing uncontrollably. She gripped hard on Derek's shirt as her petite body shook.

"Shh. I'm here. I'm right here. It' okay." said Derek as he whispered these sweet calming words into hr ears.

Meredith stood there he arms tightly wrapped around Derek as she continued to cry for the next twenty minutes. Eventually her sobs subsided into whimpers and hiccups and Derek slowly led her to the car. It was then that she realized they had brought two cars to work.

"Don't leave me." said Meredith almost reading his mind.

Derek shook his head. "I would never even think of letting you drive home. I'll come back in the morning for it." said as he put his arm around her waist and led her to the car, he doing all the moving for her. He then opened the door and gently sat her down and put her seatbelt. They then endured the ten minute ride home. Silence could be heard throughout the car, until Meredith started crying again.

"Maybe if I could've been a better daughter, then he wouldn't have acted the ways he did." said Meredith as she sobbed.

As those words escaped her mouth Derek immediately pulled over. He didn't ever want to hear those words out of her mouth.

"Meredith." he said as he tried to grab her attention. When she didn't respond he said it again more loudly and caressed her face and turned it to face him. "Meredith!"

Her tear stained face gently felt gently moved as he cupped her cheeks and looked her square in the eye.

"I never want to hear those words out of your mouth. I don't even want it to cross your mind. Do you hear me?" asked Derek as he caressed her cheek.

Meredith nodded sniffling her tears back as she gently wiped them off. They then continued to drive home till the reached the land. They then went up to bed. But neither of them slept a wink that night.

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Two days later Meredith quickly undressed the black dress she had worn to the funeral as she threw on a tank top along with a pair of Derek's boxers. Derek and she had left the kids with Izzie and Mark in Meredith's old house. She lay on the bed as she waited for Derek too return. She heard him come in with Katherine and Liam and Lily wailing away probably due to hunger. He quickly came up the stairs with Liam in his arms.

Meredith sat up against the pillow and reached out for him. "Give me my baby." said Meredith as she took Liam into her arms and un-hooked her bra and moved her tank top so he could nurse. "How's my boy?" said Meredith as she stroked his head.

"Hungry apparently. Wouldn't drink from the bottle all day." said Derek as he sat down on the bed.

"Stubborn little thing." said Meredith as she tickled his foot." You get that from Daddy." said Meredith in her cutesiest baby voice.

Derek laughed out loud. "Me? Really I think you get that from your Mommy." said Derek as he also tickled his foot.

Meredith laughed slightly and suddenly her head went up in motherly alert. "Where's Lily." asked Meredith.

"Sleeping, apparently she screamed the moment we left till the moment I went and got them." said Derek as he laughed slightly.

"Aw she's probably exhausted. Did she at least eat?" asked Meredith as she passed Liam to Derek to be burped.

"She did. We'll wake her up for her bath and another bottle." said Derek as he gently burped Liam. Liam who obviously hadn't digested the milk immediately sit up on Derek's dress shirt.

"Buddy, this is a clean dress shirt." said Derek as he leaned Liam forwards so he was talking to him as Meredith giggled at the incident and went downstairs to Kat. Liam immediately started to cry. "Okay its okay. Daddy has other shirts, its okay." said Derek as he soothed Liam until he was sleeping. He laughed slightly as he snored gently as he lay him down in his crib in the nursery. He then headed downstairs.

"He's asleep?" asked Meredith as she looked up form tickling Katherine.

"Sound asleep. But apparently Lily's not." said Derek as he picked her up from the swing and held her up against his shoulder. "How are Daddy's favorite girls?" asked Derek as he kissed Katherine's fore head and bounced Lily as he sat down in between Katherine and Meredith.

"Sleepy." said Meredith answering for Katherine as she lay her head in Meredith's lap.

"Not- uh. "said Katherine suddenly sitting up.

"Uh-huh." said Meredith tickling her.

Katherine laughter filled the room as Derek soon joined and then everyone was laughing.

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After all the kids had been bathed and put to bed and clean, Meredith finally lay down along with Derek not too much later. He lied down and put his arm around her waist.

"Derek?" asked Meredith breaking the silence.

"Yes." said Derek as he rubbed his hand up and down her hip bone.

"Can we talk?" asked Meredith

Derek immediately sat up on his elbow. "Sure we can. What about?" asked Derek

"How your Dad died?" said Meredith. "I figured since…you've been through it… maybe it would… I don't know." said Meredith rambling on.

"Yeah. We can talk about. If it helps." said Derek putting his arm back around Meredith as he began to talk to her. "Well I was ten and I was home with my Mom and my sisters. They were arguing about something silly and nobody but me heard the phone ring. I picked it up and it was the Emergency room, calling to say my dad had been in an accident. It was too late though, he had died almost instantly because of something neurologically related." said Derek

"Oh Derek." said Meredith as she ran her fingers through his curls.

"It gets easier though. The whole dealing with their death, I mean he's the reason I became a neurosurgeon. So if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be saving people's lives. And you know what… sometimes I think I feel his presence when I'm operating in the OR." said Derek.

They laid there in silence until Meredith spoke again. "Derek?" asked Meredith her voice quivering as she spoke.

"Yes?" asked Derek as he ran his hands on her back and breathed in the scent of lavender.

"I know you said it gets easier." said Meredith as tears welled up in her eyes." But right now I just want my Mom and Dad back. I want to have a do over and make our relationship better." said Meredith as she started to cry.

Derek pulled her close and held her while she cried, whispering the best comfort words he could.

_Sometimes we try to act all whole and healed, but sometimes all we need is a good cry._


	16. Two Year Old Blues and Rough Ride

Hi everyone

_**Hi everyone! This is going to be the last update for this story for a couple of days, because I'm away on vacation from July 28**__**th**__**- Aug 1**__**st**__**. No updates will be put through while I'm gone. Enjoy, we skipped ahead for two years just to spice things up. Derek and Meredith are now married.**_

Meredith smiled as she watched her children run around on a cool summer night in their backyard. They had recently installed a swing-set in the backyard and so far that's all the kids wanted to do. She sat back and rocked on the bench glider on the porch keeping an eye on them. Derek soon came out and joined her handing her a glass of wine, which she gladly accepted.

"Mere?" said Derek breaking the silence." Do you ever thinking about having more kids?" asked Derek out of the blue.

Meredith looked up slightly frazzled as she nervously played with her wedding band. "I don't know. I guess I've thought about giving Lily and Liam a younger brother or sister and Kat another sibling.

"Yeah I think that'd be nice." said Derek as he put his arm around Meredith as she laid her head on his shoulder."

"Mommy!" called Katherine as she ran as fast as her five year old legs could take her. "When do we leave for vacation?" asked Katherine as she sat on Derek's lap.

"Tomorrow, Kat. We have to wake up really early and we'll get bagel for the car ride and before you know it we'll be at the lake-house.

Meredith and Derek had decided that the kids were finally old enough to be taken to a place outside of their town, so they decided to rent a lake-house up in Northern Seattle for a week.

"That's why it's almost bath time and bedtime." said Derek as he tickled her and giggles emerged from her.

"Speaking of that, we really should get them ready for bed tomorrow is a big day." said Meredith as she called out to Lily and Liam." Liam! Lily! Come on guys were going inside now. It's getting late."

Before she knew it she saw two figures coming racing toward and hugged her legs. Meredith smiled down and patted Lily's curls. She was a total girly-girl, always had a dress and bow in her hair. Even though she was adopted she looked exactly like the rest of the kids with her blonde curls.. She fit perfectly in from day one. She had a very relaxed attitude but never ever wanted to play in mud or do anything that isn't "ladylike". At two Meredith really wasn't sure where she had learned that word from. Liam was the spitting image of Derek only a younger version with lighter hair. He was adorable and sociable, but had Meredith's stubborn personality. He was definitely a typical boy, always wanting to be outside and in the dir or some sort of running activity.

"Mommy? We go in now?" asked Liam as he looked up at Meredith with his big blue eyes.

"Yes honey. It's time for bed soon." said Meredith as she led them into the house. She had Katherine sit down and wait her turn for here bedtime routine, being that the younger ones had to be in bed a little while earlier. She quickly led them into the bathroom and started to fill up the tub as she took their clothes off.

"Mommy? I use your flower soap?" asked Lily referring to Meredith's lavender conditioner.

"Yes sweetheart of course you can." said Meredith as she began washing her curls with the lavender scented shampoo and conditioner. She then quickly moved onto Lim using a different shampoo. She then got them both out of the tub and put their pull-ups on. They were beginning to potty train young and Liam was doing well but Lily was struggling with the whole when you feel it you go. She then put their cute towels with animal's faces on the hood on them. Lily's being a duck and Liam's being a frog's. She then ran a comb through both of their hair and they both took off for Derek who was waiting in their room.

"Daddy it's time for pajamas." said Lily as she ran into his waiting arms.

"Okay Lily-Bean one second." said Derek as he pulled a pair of shorts and a tank from the drawer and quickly dressed her and the Liam. He then tucked them both in and kissed their foreheads, after Meredith had tucked Katherine in they quickly switched and said their goodnight's to the other children. They then both went to bed, dreaming of their vacation that started very soon.

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The next morning Derek packed up the car as Meredith got the kids dressed. He had gotten a bag of bagels for the car ride earlier this morning. All left to do was lock up the house and get the kids in the car. Meredith quickly came out of the house holding Lily and Liam's hand and Katherine trailing behind her. She then handed the kids over to Derek and went to lock up the house. As Meredith back came out of the house and Derek was finishing buckling Liam suddenly decided he need to go to the bathroom.

"Daddy I got's to go potty." said Liam bouncing slightly in his seat.

Derek sighed. "Buddy we just locked the house." said Derek as he unbuckled him and placed him on the ground where he ran to Meredith and told her, which she then proceeded to re-open the house. They returned moments later. Derek then re-buckled him into his car seat and then climbed into the driver's side. He then turned around to talk to the kids.

"Nobody else has to go potty right?" asked Derek as they all shook their heads no. "Great then we can hit the road." said Derek as Meredith climbed in and they slowly pulled out of their drive-way.

About twenty minutes into the ride all the kids were starting to get hungry and they were complaining.

"Mommy, I want my bagel now." whined Katherine.

"Katherine knock off the whining please." said Meredith as she spread the cream cheese they brought for the ride onto her bagel. "It's almost ready." said Meredith as she placed the top of the bagel on and placed it on a paper plate and cut it." Here babe." she said handing her a small water bottle and the bagel. She quickly cleaned up after she had finished giving everyone else a bagel. Soon after the kids had finished eating the chaos began to start.

"Ow!" screamed Katherine as Liam pinched her.

"Liam Patrick!' said Meredith as she quickly whipped around." We don't pinch." said Meredith.

Liam waited five minutes and then pinched Lily, who immediately started to cry.

"Liam, what did Mommy just say?" asked Derek without tearing his eyes off the road. "Do it again and you're in time-out when we get to the house." said Derek sternly.

Liam then waited five minutes and then pinched both of sisters at once.

"That's it Liam! You were warned twice. You're in trouble now." said Meredith as Liam finally realized what he did and started to cry, he eventually ended up crying himself to sleep. Apparently all problems weren't over.

"Mommy someone went poop." said Katherine as she pinched her nose as a terrible odor filled the car.

"Lily Grace. You need to tell Mommy when you have to go." said Meredith as she made Derek pull over so she could change her. As Meredith changed her Katherine accidentally spilled her water on her shirt and got upset waking her brother who also started to cry.

"Boy this is a great start to a vacation."

_**Well? Just incase anyone wants to take a peek I put up what I think Liam and Lily look like. Remember Lily is going to look slightly different due to the fact that she was adopted!**_


	17. Fear of Heights and Long Summer Nights

Thanks everyone for the reviews and well wishes for my vacation

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews and well wishes for my vacation! The Bahamas were amazing! Just what I needed to get my creative juices flowing! Hope everyone enjoys this chapter. Nice and long just the way you all like it!**_

Meredith sighed as they pulled into the local supermarket parking lot. Derek and she had figured it was easier to go before they arrived instead of after. Figuring that the kids would need to be fed soon anyway they decided to go. They had gotten off the highway and searched until they found one. Meredith quickly got out and opened the back door and put Liam on her hip and held Katherine's hand as Derek took Lily. They found a two shopping carts and decided to split up.

"All right let's make this fast and painless. I'll get dairy, fruits and snacks for the kids and you get vegetables, meat and such and cold cuts. I'll meet you at register six in a hour." said Meredith.

"Deal, I'll take Lily, you can have Liam and Katherine." said Derek as he smirked knowing he got the better end of the deal.

"Oh yeah real sweet Derek give me the two rambunctious children." as she playfully swatted him." Fine." said Meredith as she rolled her eyes. "But you owe me big time tonight." Meredith whispered seductively in his ear as she turned and started pushing the cart in the other direction.

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Meredith unpacked the groceries with Derek as the kids "attempted" to get on their own bathing suits. She was slightly bent over putting the vegetables in their proper bin when she felt Derek wrap his arms around her petite waist.

"I want you now Meredith." as he slowly kissed her neck sending shivers down her spine. She then realized where they were and gently pushed him away.

"Derek our children are awake and on the same floor as us. Not now." said Meredith as sternly as she could without giggling.

Derek groaned in defeat as he continued to put away all the groceries. Moments later Lily entered the kitchen with her blue bathing suit on backwards and her navy blue ribbon falling out of her hair.

"Lily do you try by yourself?" asked Meredith as she bent down to Lily's height and helped her fix her bathing suit and retied the ribbon.

"Didn't I do good Mommy?" asked Lily with a proud smile on her face.

Meredith smiled and kissed the crown on Lily's head as she stood up. "Excellent. Where are your brother and sister?"

"Kat is putting her bathing suit on. Liam's going poopy on the potty?" said Lily as Derek picked her up.

Meredith turned around and looked at Derek." He's never done that before." said Meredith as she quickly started for the bathroom. When she got there Liam came out smiling.

"I did it Mommy!" said Liam proudly.

Meredith smiled and picked him up dancing around with him." My big boy! You get to pick the dessert tonight." said Meredith as she kissed him. "Why don't you go tell Daddy? I'm going to get your sister so we can go swimming." said Meredith as she set him down and he took off excitedly for the kitchen.

"Katherine?" called Meredith as she entered the room she was sharing with Lily. "We're ready to go now sweetie." said Meredith as she watched Katherine putting her flip –flops on.

"Okay" said Katherine as she excitedly ran out of her room and towards the kitchen.

Meredith followed after her and took Lily's hand as they left through the back door and walked with Derek and the two other kids until they reached the docks of the lake.

"Daddy I go up there?" Liam asked Derek as he pointed to a couple parasailing up in the sky

"No Buddy when you're older. But today Mommy and I are." said Derek as he looked at Meredith.

"What?" asked Meredith her throat suddenly drying up. She hated heights. She was completely terrified. She supposed Derek didn't know that since, they had never flown together. They hadn't gone on a honeymoon since they had newborns and had driven every time they went to visit Derek's family.

"Well I thought it would be a good way to start our vacation." said Derek as he grinned at her." The kids can sit in the boat and watch us and we have a driver that drives the boat."

"Derek… no that's okay. Maybe Katherine can go?" asked Meredith as she put swim-belts on all the kids.

"Mere. Come on it'll be adventurous as he put each child in the boat and nodded at the driver. He took Meredith's hand and led her into the boat as they took out towards deeper water.

"Stay seated." reminded the kids." Derek I don't think they should be alone down here." said Meredith making an excuse so that maybe Derek would take the hint that she was terrified of heights and did not want to do this. As the boat stopped stomach Meredith's stomach began to do whirly loops. The driver began to put life jackets and harnesses on them and etc. He then had them stand on the edge of the boat as it started to move and lift them up. Meredith gripped Derek's hand and kept her eyes squeezed shut.

"Mere open your eyes and look at the view." said Derek as they reached higher and higher.

Meredith opened her eyes not wanting to ruin Derek's idea, which he had seemed so excited about. When she did her breath caught in her throat memories from her past flooding in. She lost her breath and began to hyperventilate.

"Mere?" asked Derek as he heard her breathing becoming un-even fast." Mere?" asked Derek more sternly as he signaled for the boat driver to stop and bring them down. As soon as they were back in the boat the driver gave Meredith a bag and Derek nearly had to hold the bag to her face because she was resisting being touched or helping herself.

"Slow deep breaths Mere." said Derek as he stroked her back. "Breathe for me Mere." said Derek as Meredith tried to take breaths. Meredith began choking as her breathing started to even out and she was able to breathe again. "That's it good girl." said Derek as she rested her head on Derek's shoulder as the boat started off for the docks.

"Mommy?" asked Katherine as she pulled herself into Meredith's lap and cupped her cheek worriedly." Are you okay?"

Meredith gave a small smile to her daughter's concern. "Mommy just got scared. Thank you for caring honey." said Meredith as she kissed Kat's forehead avoiding Derek's strong gaze.

"Guys I'll take you out swimming later, we're going back to the house so Mommy can rest." said Derek as they got out of the boat and started for the lake house.

Liam and Lily who were very excited started crying as they walked back as Katherine complained they were acting like babies. Meredith walked into the house and immediately changed Liam and Lily into comfier clothes and put them down for a nap. She then went to the master bedroom and collapsed on the bed closing her eyes and trying not to let her past memories get the best of her. She had been lying on the bed for about ten minutes when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist.

"Want to tell me why you didn't tell e you were terrified of heights?" asked Derek as he rubbed her shoulder gently.

Meredith shook her head to a gentle no and squirmed out of his arms and moved toward the other end of the bed.

He got up and walked around and leaned down and kissed her forehead." I'll be here when you're ready to talk." said Derek as he left the room.

Meredith shut her eyes and tried to forget the events of today and the events of her past and slowly fell into a deep slumber.

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Meredith awoke hours later and looked at the lock. It was a little after midnight she looked over next to her and noticed Derek wasn't in bed sleeping. She quickly slipped out of her clothes from earlier today and put on her old ratty Dartmouth tee-shirt and a pair of Derek's boxer's. She then put her soft slipper flip-flops on her feet and slowly walked to the living room and saw the glow of the TV and Derek with his pillow from the bed and a light blanket sitting up watching ESPN. Meredith sat on the arm of the couch and ran her fingers through his curls. He looked up and smiled slightly.

"I'm sorry." said Meredith." I'm sorry not telling you about me not liking heights and why I was so upset." said Meredith.

Derek shook his head understanding and opened the blanket so she could cuddle up next to him. He breathed in the smell of lavender from her hair and pulled away to talk.

"Are you ready to talk to me?" asked Derek as he looked at her with those deep "make your knees weak." blue eyes.

Meredith shook her head." I think I am. I'm sorry I never did tell you this. It's just today I didn't want to ruin your plans."

"Mere you could've told me, I wouldn't have made you go up there." started Derek but

was silenced when Meredith put a finger to his lip.

"I'm ready to tell you. So listen, I'm afraid of heights because my mother took me to a carnival when I was six." started Meredith before Derek cut her off.

"That's why you're afraid of heights?" asked Derek confused.

"Derek, let me talk. So anyway she took me rolling her eyes the entire time. She convinced me to go on the Ferris wheel by myself, even though she knew I didn't like me being on heights. She put me on just she could answer a page. I cried the whole way because I was terrified. When the ride was over she told me how I was acting like a spoiled brat and brought me home and left me there for the night by myself. Some mother." finished Meredith snuggling closer to Derek.

Derek kissed her cheek as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist." You're an incredibly brave human being Meredith." as sleep overwhelmed the both of them and they fell into a deep sleep.


	18. New Babies and Thunderstorms

Thanks everyone for the reviews

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews! Alright let's take a vote to continue this story for awhile when you submit a review write No. If you want to move onto the sequel write Yes.**_

Meredith and Derek had gotten home a few days ago after a very long rewarding vacation. The kids had an absolute blast, but it was good to be home. And they made it just in time to be in town when Izzie and Mark's first baby arrived. A little girl named Anna Elizabeth Sloan. Today Meredith, Derek and their kids were going to visit the new addition today.

"Alright remember guys, we have to be very quiet when we're around the baby, because babies don't like a lot of noise. So no screaming or loud talking, we have to talk like we're talking in a library." explained Meredith as Derek parked the car and they started walking towards Mark and Izzie's house

"Why?" asked Lily innocently.

"Because babies sleep a lot, they also cry when they need something." explained Katherine almost expertly.

"That's right Kat. Very good job explaining." said Derek as he took Katherine's and Liam's hands and walked along with them until they reached Izzie and Mark's. Meredith gently knocked on the door. Izzie answered the door a moment later with a burping rag over her shoulder.

"Hi guys." she said her normal chirpy self." Come in. Come in." as she ushered the Shepherd clan into the house.

"I admit Iz, you're more awake then I was when I only had three hours of sleep a night." said Meredith as she hugged her friend.

"Probably more awake then when Meredith gets a full night's sleep." joked Derek as he kissed Izzie on the cheek and handed her a bag of bagels, so they would have something in the house.

"Aunt Izzie?" asked Liam as he tugged on her sweatpants.

"Yes buddy?" asked Izzie as she kneeled down to his eye level.

"Where's the baby?" asked Liam.

Izzie smiled." Uncle Mark is changing her diaper." answered Izzie as she giggled at the thought of that.

"Mark changing diapers? That's a scary thought." joke Derek as Mark entered the room cradling Anna against his chest.

"Well I have been working on my diapering skills quite a bit now and I'm thinking of going pro." joked Mark as he walked towards the group.

"Oh Iz, she's tiny." said Meredith as she stroked the baby's little fingers." You forget how small they are." said Meredith with a quiet giggle.

"Want to hold her Mere?" asked Izzie as she took Anna from Mark's arms and rocked her slightly to soothe her back to sleep.

"Sure." said Meredith with a smile as Anna was put in her arms." Hi beautiful girl." said Meredith as she looked at her now eyes wide open looking around." Daddy's got his hands full when you get older, you look just like your mommy." said Meredith.

"Oh believe me Derek and I are already prepared. We went gun shopping last weekend." joked Mark. "We're also teaching Liam to shoot." added Derek as he put his arm around Meredith's shoulder.

"Mommy let me look at the baby." said Lily as her and Liam and Katherine made a little circle around Meredith.

"Alright don't touch her face." reminded Derek as Katherine climbed into Derek's lap to get a better look at Anna.

The kids tickled and made silly faces for the baby and finally when she had enough she put back in Izzie's waiting arms.

"Mommy?" said Katherine as she now sat in Meredith's lap.

"Yes babe?" asked Meredith smoothing down her curls with her hand.

"I want a new baby brother or sister." said Katherine as she got up and kissed Anna on her head.

"Me too." said Liam. "A boy though."

"No a girl!" said Lily with a giggle.

Meredith was at a loss of words, she didn't know where to laugh or get serious. Nothing wanted to come out of her mouth though.

"We'll see what we can do." said Derek t the kids." Right Mommy?" asked Derek looking at Meredith and winking at her.

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Meredith sighed as she lay in Derek's arms later that night after a long day. She had thought long and hard about what the kids had said, about wanting a baby in the house. Could she handle a fourth? Thunder clapped loudly as she sighed and rolled over and slipped her arms and around Derek's neck and laid her head on his shoulder. She was just about to fall asleep, when she heard loud sobbing and their bedroom door open. She immediately sat up and saw Lily crying and gripping her doll tightly.

"Lily, honey what's wrong? Did the thunder scare you?" asked Meredith as she flipped on her bedside light waking Derek.

Lily shook her head yes as Meredith picked her up and brought her into her arms. She then devoured into loud scared sobs.

"It's alright Mommy's got you now." said Meredith as she consoled her as best as she could.

"What's a matter Lily-Bean?" asked Derek as Lily reached out for him and he took her into his arms. "There's no need to be scared. The storm's outside, we're safe in here." said Derek as Lily's crying turned into whimpering and she laid her head on Derek's chest and put her thumb in her mouth.

"Why don't you sleep with Mommy and Daddy?" suggested Meredith. "Would that make you feel better?" asked Meredith. Lily nodded her head and Derek placed her in-between the two of them. Meredith then rubbed her back until there was another loud crack of thunder that even made Meredith jump slightly and Lily was right back in Derek's arms. He sighed and kissed her head as he sat up against his pillow. Meredith then heard her door creak open and Liam come in crying hysterically.

"Oh Buddy." said Meredith as she reached down and picked him up bringing him into her arms. "It's okay. You're okay now." said Meredith as she rubbed his back." It's only a storm." said Meredith as she placed him down on the bed and he snuggled up against her chest and lay his head on her stomach.

"I wonder how Katherine is sleeping through this?" asked Derek towards Meredith." She usually is in our bed with minutes after a storm starts."

"Mommy?" said Katherine interrupting Derek.

"Come on in Kat, apparently we're having a big slumber party." said Meredith as she opened the covers so her daughter could climb in and lay next to her.

A few minutes later all the kids had fallen into a sleep, which would hopefully last for the night. Derek turned his head careful not to disrupt a sleeping Lily on his chest and looked at Meredith who was just watching all her children with this intensity of love and care in her eyes.

"Mere?" asked Derek trying to figuring out what she was thinking about.

"I want another baby Derek."

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Derek lay the next morning to the sound of the alarm going off. He sighed and pulled his pillow over his ears.

"Shut it off. Please!" sighed Derek as Meredith hit the snooze button.

"Grumpy much? Why didn't you use your ear plugs?" asked Meredith as she rolled over as best as she could with being sandwiched in between two sleeping children.

"I couldn't move with Lily on my chest and unfortunately all our children snore as loud as you do." said Derek

Meredith laughed slightly. "Oh poor thing, well get up it's time for us to go to work and our children to day care." said Meredith as she went downstairs to get a cup of coffee. Derek gently moved Lily onto the bed, careful not to disturb her and quickly followed Meredith into the kitchen.

"Mere, what you said last night about wanting another baby. Did you mean that?" asked Derek as he sat next to her at the table as she flipped through the latest medical journal.

Meredith looked up and shook her head." I'm serious. I think Liam and Lily need a baby brother or sister. They say four is the perfect number right?" joked Meredith as she walked into the kitchen with Derek following behind her to dump their remaining coffee. Derek wrapped his arms around her waist and started trailing kisses on her neck.

"We can be fast." mumbled Derek as he kissed her.

"And quiet." added Meredith.

Not too long after that breakfast was long forgotten and their kids slept in an extra fifteen minutes.

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Meredith waved through the window of the day care room, and both her and Derek blew kisses to their kids before starting their day.

"Please." said Derek as Meredith changed into her scrubs.

"Derek, we had our fun. Now you'll have to wait." said Meredith as she took off her top to change and seductively teased him slightly.

"There's open on call room." said Derek as he pulled his scrub top on.

"Derek no." said Meredith as she put her lab coat on and her stethoscope around her neck. She kissed his cheek and started out of the lounge.

Derek grumbled in frustration as he pulled his lab coat on. All he needed was passion, a little love.

Meredith laughed at angry he was and stood at the door, she took for morning rounds but not before saying." Derek. On- call room. Three o'clock." said Meredith before winking and leaving.


	19. First Day Jitters and Baby Drama

Thanks everyone for the reviews

_Thanks everyone for the reviews! Hope everyone is still enjoying the story! In your review please submit if you want the new baby to be a girl or boy, it will be a big facto to my choice._

_**Four weeks later**_

Meredith sighed as the alarm went off; she gently shut it off before rolling over into Derek's arms. Today was Katherine's first day of Kindergarten and Meredith was probably more nervous and Katherine. She hadn't gotten much sleep the past two nights due that she was paranoid about Katherine starting school and she honestly thought was pregnant. Yes once again pregnant. She didn't want to tell Derek to get his hopes up so she decided after the first day was over she'd take care of her next problem.

"Derek." said Meredith as she shoved him gently. "It's time to wake up. We have work and it's Katherine's first day." said Meredith as she flipped their light on and started quickly looking through her sweaters, since it was a cooler day.

"Mere, relax you need to calm down and stop worrying about her." said Derek as he went and stood next to her. "She'll be fine stop worrying so much. I know that's not what's bugging you. You hardly slept at all last night." said Derek as wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and pulled her close.

"Nothing." said Meredith as she gently pulled his hands off her. She then proceeded to flip through her sweaters still she picked out a navy colored one and grabbed a pair of jeans.

"Mere, when you say nothing it usually means something." said Derek as he grabbed a shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Derek!" said Meredith not being able to handle him pestering anymore. "Just please back off!" said Meredith as she slammed the bathroom door and soon Derek heard running water.

"Someone woke on the wrong side of the bed." muttered Derek to himself.

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Meredith sat with her kids as they happily babbled and ate breakfast as she sipped tea. She figured she shouldn't drink coffee just in case she was pregnant. Derek walked into the room and his eyes met Meredith before he broke the gaze and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Mommy are we leaving soon?" asked an excited Katherine as she bounced in her uniform slightly.

"Not until I fix that wild hair of yours Kat." joked Meredith as she went and got a spray bottle, a brush and rubber bands and combed her hair through. She then parted it and made two braids. She then tied navy ribbon to match her uniform on the bottom.

"Momma I go to school?" asked Liam as he ate some fruit on his plate.

"Not until you're a little older bud." said Derek answering for Meredith." Soon you'll be going to school like Katherine though." said Derek as he smiled and gently ruffled his son's curls.

"Alright, let's go before we're late on the first day." said Meredith as she grabbed Katherine's back-pack and handed her snack for the morning.

"Mommy I go with Kat." said Lily stubbornly.

Meredith laughed and kissed her daughter's forehead. "I wish you could, but not yet darling girl."

"Mommy can we please leave now?" asked Katherine as she bounced excitedly

"Yes sweetheart we can." said Meredith as she ushered her family out the door and into the car.

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Katherine clung to her mother's hand as they approached the school yard. Derek was behind them carrying both Liam and Lily in his arms.

"Alright Kat, we have to find your teacher. The letter said her name is Miss Joyce." said Meredith as she walked Katherine over to the line where her teacher was standing holding a name card.

"Well hello there." said Miss Joyce.

"Hi." said Kat quietly.

"Hi I'm Mrs. Shepherd and this is my husband." said Meredith indicating to Derek standing beside her." And this is Katherine." said Meredith as she rubbed her daughter's back as she was now holding onto her leg.

"Hi Katherine." said Miss Joyce crouching down to her." We're going to have so much fun today."

"I don't want to go." said Katherine to Meredith.

"Sweetie it'd only half day and you're going have a lot of fun and make new friends." said Meredith.

"I don't want to." said Katherine as she held onto Meredith tighter.

"Kat." said Derek as he handed the twins to Meredith and led Kat over to him and crouched down to her eye level. "How about today when you're in school you make Daddy a picture and then when I pick you up at twelve today you can show me the picture and tell me all the fun things you did. Okay?" asked Derek. Katherine shook her head yes. "That's my girl. I love you Kat." said Derek as he hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too Daddy." said Katherine as she hugged him and then raced over to her line as the class started to go into the building. She waved to Meredith as they neared the door and blew them both a kiss. She then marched along inside.

Meredith smiled as she started walking back to the car with both Lily and Liam in her arms and got into the driver's seat as Derek into the passenger's seat. They rode to the hospital in an uncomfortable silence. They then dropped off the twins at daycare and Meredith started too walked away from Derek but not before he grabbed her arm and pulled her outside.

"What's going on?" asked Derek

"Derek not now I'm going to be late for work." said Meredith pulling away yet once again.

"No you're not, I told the Chief we wouldn't be in till ten today." said Derek as he pulled Meredith over to a nearby bench.

Meredith sighed as she slumped into the bench, the nausea she had been feeling since yesterday beginning to take its toll on her. "I'm sorry." whispered Meredith

"Mere you didn't do anything; I'm just worried about you. Just tell me what's up." said Derek as he pushed her hair away from her glassy eyes.

Meredith sighed holding her stomach as she felt her stomach leap and doing cartwheels." I think I might be pregnant." said Meredith.

Derek smiled "Well that's good isn't it. We were trying to get pregnant." said Derek

"Derek a fourth child is a big step. I'm just scared." said Meredith

Derek sighed as he pulled Meredith into a hug, her head now resting on his shoulder. "Mere if you are pregnant, we'll get through this together. Okay?' asked Derek as he kissed her forehead.

Meredith shook her head and laid her head back on his shoulder." I feel incredibly nauseous." said Meredith as played with Derek's shirt.

Derek smiled a sad smile." Well why don't we go get a test and take it and if you are we'll get a consult later this week."

Meredith shook her head and got up slowly heading to the car to buy a test, but not before ducking into the bushes and emptying her stomach.

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Meredith and Derek sat on the bathroom floor of their master bathroom waiting for the pregnancy test results.

"This always feels longer then five minutes." said Meredith as she got up and started pacing the room.

"Mere relax it's time to check." said Derek as he stood up and waited for the timer that they had brought in to ring. All of a sudden it went off. Meredith picked up the test and looked at bewilderment written on her face.

"Well?" asked Derek

"I'm not pregnant."


	20. A Fourth and SCOTCH

_**Thanks everyone for the positive feedback! Hope everyone is enjoying the story as much as I am!**_

Derek's smile of anticipation dropped suddenly when he heard those words. How could she not be pregnant? She had all the signs of a woman who was pregnant.

"Gotcha." said Meredith a smile now written on her face.

Derek let out a sigh of relief that he didn't know he had been holding in. He pulled Meredith into a hug and buried his face into her hair. "Don't do that. A million things were rushing through my head." said Derek as he kissed her lips gently.

"Derek we're going to be parents again. A fourth child." said Meredith as she smiled kissed his lips gently.

"We are. Why don't we see if we can schedule a doctor's appointment for sometime this week." suggested Derek.

"Sounds lovely." said Meredith as she kissed him a smile permanently on her face and not daring to leave.

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Meredith sighed as she sat down in their living room waiting for Derek to bring Katherine, Liam and Lily home. They had called the Chief told him the news and he had given them the day off. Now she was sitting flipping through a magazine when she heard the doorbell ring. She immediately got up and expected it to be Derek and the kids and when she opened the door to her surprise a familiar redhead was standing there.

"Surprise!" said Addison throwing her arms out in effect.

"Addison what are you doing here?" asked Meredith as she pulled her friend in for a hug.

"Well I've decided LA life is not for me anymore, so I talked to the Chief and I got my old job back. I also stopped in New York before coming here to Seattle and look who I brought back with me." said Addison stepping aside for Meredith to see Derek's mother.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" asked Meredith as she laughed slightly as her mother- in law pulled her in for a hug.

"Well I figured it was time for me to finally take a visit here to Seattle." said Jane Shepherd as she pulled away after a few minutes." Where's Derek and the kids?" asked Jane peeking her head over Meredith's shoulders o see if they were inside

"Derek just ran to the hospital to get them." said Meredith.

"Why aren't you at work if they're in daycare?" asked Addison suspiciously as they walked into the house.

"Um… well you see… there… I got nothing. We found out I was pregnant again today." said Meredith.

"Oh Meredith, dear that's great news!" said Jane as she pulled Meredith in for another hug.

"Congratulations." said Addison as she too hugged Meredith." I'm so happy for you guys."

"Well Addison now that you're back… would you mind being my doctor?" asked Meredith carefully.

"Of course! You make it sound like I would never want to do it." said Addison as they all sat down in the living room.

Meredith, Addison and Jane Shepherd talked and giggled and laughed heartedly for the next few minutes just enjoying eachother's company.

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Derek smiled as he opened the car door to find all three kids sound asleep in the back. Katherine still dressed in her uniform from hours ago probably exhausted from school, even if it was only half day Kindergarten. Liam and Lily sleeping soundly after a long day at day care, filled with juice cups and crayons. He grabbed the pizza box he had brought home from dinner and the movie he brought home for the local movie rental place and started for the door but stopped when he heard three women laughing. He picked out Meredith's infectious giggle first. He then picked up his ex-wife's long hearty laugh as he leaned closer to the door. He then heard a laugh that he heard most frequently growing up. His mother's laugh. He smiled and then his smile dropped when he realized all three women were in one room together. He looked up at the sky.

"What in God's name have I done to deserve this?" Derek asked the sky as he turned around putting everything back into the SUV and took off for Mark and Izzie's house. He carried the twins and a now awake Katherine trotted behind him as he ran Mark and Izzie's door bell. Mark answered the door and had a bewildered expression on his face.

"I need S- C- O -T -C -H." said Derek spelling it out so Katherine wouldn't understand him.

Mark nodded and returned moments later after Derek had set the twins down on the couch and Katherine had gone to find Izzie and the baby.

"My question is why do you need the scotch?" asked Mark as he watched Derek down half the glass.

"Meredith. Addison. My mother. All in the same room laughing and talking.

Mark smiled and laughed slightly " Why don't I just go get the whole bottle."


	21. Cheesy 80's Movie and Presents

_**I just realized as I am writing this chapter, that we have hit twenty chapters! Yeah! Thanks for everyone who has supported me along the way.**_

Derek sighed as he drove back home with his kids now all awake and hungry. He should've taken Mark up on his offer about the whole bottle. He pulled into the driveway and grabbed the now cold pizza and eighty's movie he had rented for him and Meredith. He then unbuckled Liam and Lily as Katherine unbuckled herself. They then ran inside the house as Derek followed quickly behind them.

"Where'd you go to the moon?" joked Meredith as Liam hugged her and Derek bet down and kissed her cheek.

"Hospital, Pizzeria, Video Store and Mark and Izzie's." said Derek before moving to give Addison a peck on the cheek and then went onto to his mother. "Hi Mom." said Derek as he hugged her.

"How's my boy?" asked Jane as she kissed his cheek. "You've lost weight haven't you? Meredith are you feeding him?" joked Jane.

"You know Derek he's all "health conscious." said Meredith as she sat with Katherine and they talked about the first day and then what happened at daycare after she was dropped off from school.

"Well we're off to our hotel. Maybe I can take my grandkids out for breakfast in the morning so Mom and Dad can have some alone time." winked Jane as she gathered her belongings.

"Mom! Not in front of the kids." said Derek as he picked Lily up.

"Oh before I forget!" said Addison reaching into her tote." I brought presents for the kids."

"Addison…" started Meredith

"Hey I brought something for them, I'm their aunt I get to spoil them." said Addison handing each Lily, Liam and Katherine boxes.

All three children eagerly un-wrapped the gifts, Katherine finished first revealing hers to be a little designer purse.

"Thank you Aunt Addie." said Katherine with her eyes sparkling with joy as she raced to give her aunt a hug.

"Addie, what five year old needs a designer bag?" asked Derek with a amused smile on his face.

"Well I'm working her up so that she'll be ready to take a shopping trip with me in New York when she's older." said Addison.

"God help us then." said Meredith jokingly.

"Mommy!" said Lily excitedly showing Meredith a little purple suede dress with embroidered flowers along the bottom.

"Oh pretty Lily." said Meredith bending down to examine the dress with her daughter.

"Look Mommy! She even gave me a matching head-band" said Lily showing Meredith. "Thank you Aunt Addie." said Lily as she raced to give Addison a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh you're welcome Lily. I hope you have wonderful tea parties in it." said Addison with a smile.

Liam frowned as he opened his box to reveal to long strips of paper." Daddy mine's just paper." said Liam.

Derek took the tickets and examined them with wide eyes. "Buddy these are tickets to go see a baseball game. Like how we watch on TV." said Derek explaining it.

"Wow Liam that's very special gift. I think you need to thank Aunt Addie." said Meredith crouching down to Liam's level and motioning him over to thank Addison.

"Thank you Aunt Addie." said Liam as he hugged her and she kissed his forehead gently.

"Your welcome buddy, do me a favor though and try to stay out of trouble with your sisters." she said with a wink before standing up and collecting her things.

"Well we better go." said Jane." We'll see you tomorrow." they both said as they exited shutting the door behind him.

"Daddy?" asked Katherine suddenly." What's Coach?"

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Meredith quietly shut the door behind her after getting Liam to go to sleep. She slipped into her bed and cuddled up as Derek brought in pop-corn.

"What movie are we watching?" asked Meredith as she put her head on his shoulder.

"A classic eighties movie, "Can't Buy Me Love." said Derek as he hit play on the movie.

"Derek!" whined Meredith." That's such a corny movie and he's freaking hideous." said Meredith.

"Hey I take the offensively, I was told I looked like him as a kid." said Derek as he laughed slightly.

"Well I would take that offensively, look at his nose." said Meredith as she giggled as the boy rode through on his family's tractor.

"Sometimes I'm still told I look like him." said Derek as he brought Meredith's body closer to him.

"Well I know for a fact that he's had nose job since then and apparently grown into his body because now he's gorgeous." said Meredith.

"Does that mean you think I'm gorgeous?" asked Derek as he smirked and kissed her neck gently.

"Eh. Maybe."


	22. Wishing It Was A Dream

_**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! Although a lot of people were happy with the outcome of the last two chapters, I'm just warning you for this chapter because happiness does not last long.**_

_One Week Later_

Meredith turned over in the middle of the night, she felt crampy and achy and disgusting. She sighed as she rolled over and put her hand down on the mattress. Her eyes immediately shot open when she did so feeling something wet underneath her. She quickly turned on the lights and looked at the white sheets to see blood spots on them.

"Derek." panic creeping into her voice as she nudged him gently." Derek wake up." said Meredith as she shook him harder.

He blinked before opening his eyes fully. "What's wrong Mere?" asked Derek suddenly sitting up in bed more.

Meredith felt tears welling up in her eyes. Her voice quivering as she spoke. "I'm bleeding." said Meredith.

Derek immediately turned the other lights on and quickly started getting thing together. "We're going to the hospital." said Derek.

"No Derek, I don't want to go. I know what happened." said Meredith as a tear rode slowly down her face.

"It could be something else. We're going. I'm paging Addison." said Derek.

"Derek I don't want to." said Meredith now completely crying. "I don't want to deal with all the people apologizing I just want to stay here." said Meredith.

Ignoring Meredith's protests, Derek swiftly picked her up cradling her in his arms and went downstairs gently laid her on the couch as he called Izzie to come stay with the kids. A moment after she arrived Derek picked a whimpering Meredith up and brought her to the car where he drove comforting Meredith and silently praying that what he knew had happened was only a dream.

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Meredith lay stiffly in a hospital gown in a room while Addison was checking to see what had caused the problem. She soon stopped and took off her glasses.

"Well there doesn't seem to be a specific reason why it happened. You've never had a miscarriage before this right Meredith?" asked Addison.

Meredith didn't answer she just stared straight ahead her eyes looking almost glazed over.

"No. She's never had one." said Derek answering for her as he gently stroked her hand.

"Well I don't need to keep you over night. I'll call you guys in the morning to see how you're doing." said Addison as she patted Meredith's arm before leaving the room.

"Mere, we're going to go home now. Okay?" asked Derek. When Meredith didn't respond he continued." How about you get changed back into your clothes and then we'll get out of here.

Meredith lay still not reacting to what he was saying. Derek, in seeing that Meredith was not going to attempt to move, he quickly took off the hospital gown and put on the navy plaid pajama pants and her Dartmouth shirt that he had brought with him. He then slipped on the tennis sneakers and gave her his hand to help pull her up. Meredith gently sat up and moved her legs toward the edge and slowly got up. She held onto Derek's hand like it was her lifeline as they made their way towards the parking lot and into their car. Derek slowly drove home as Meredith kept hold on one of his arms. She seemed so scared and afraid to move forward. This definitely wasn't the Meredith he knew and loved. They slowly walked into the house to find an awake Izzie who immediately left so they could have privacy, but not before indicating to Derek that she wanted a phone call tomorrow.

"Mere do you need some water or something?" asked Derek as she sat down on the couch.

She slowly shook her head no as she slipped off her shoes and headed for the stairs. He followed behind her as they both trudged tiredly up the stairs and walked into their master bedroom. She was about to slip back into bed when she noticed the blood on that still remained on the sheets and her face became pale.

"I'll change the sheets quickly." said Derek stripping the bed off the sheets and going into the hall closet to get more sheets and quickly putting them on the bed.

Meredith slowly got into the bed and gently laid her head on the pillow exhaustion finally taking over her body. Derek lay next to her and as he went to turn over he felt her hands dragging his body closer to her. He pressed chest into her back and slipped his arms around his waist and the gently pressing a kiss to her forehead before lying down. He gently rubbed her shoulders in attempt to get her to sleep. Before they both fell into a deep sleep Meredith turned around to face him. Tears freely flowing down her face now. He pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back and pressed his nose into her hair as he spoke to her softly.

"Shh. I'm right here. I've got you." said Derek as he rubbed her back. Meredith the let out a pained sob, truly showing since she was told she lost the baby, how sad and hurt she felt. She then spoke in an inaudible voice almost impossible to hear.

"I want my baby back."


	23. I Wish I May, I Wish I Might

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews! I know everyone was disappointed to what happened, and so I am I but good things will come soon!**_

Meredith rolled over the next morning to find Derek not next to her. She slipped on her slippers and pulled a bathrobe over her pajamas and made her way down the stairs. Before getting into the kitchen she heard laughter and giggles. She walked into find Derek making blue berry pancakes with the kids.

"Mommy!" said Lily, Liam and Katherine in union as they ran over to give Meredith a good morning hug.

"Hi guys." said Meredith her voice raspy from being up all night crying." Are you making breakfast with Daddy?" asked Meredith as she sat down at the kitchen table.

"For us and for you!" said Katherine excitedly.

"Aw thanks Kat, but Mommy isn't very hungry." said Meredith as Derek shot her a worried look as the words escaped her lips.

"Meredith you've got to eat." said Derek as the kids left to set the table in the dining room with paper plates and etc.

"Derek I'm not hungry." said Meredith clearly annoyed he was pressuring her.

"Mere…" said Derek as he crouched down on the side of the chair. " You need to eat. You barely ate dinner last night because you said you weren't feeling well and you didn't eat anything while we up last night. I need you to eat or I'm going to have to take you to the hospital for an IV." said Derek as he rubbed her arm gently as he spoke softly to her.

"I'm not eating Derek. I don't feel up to eating right now." said Meredith as she walked out of the room and back upstairs.

Derek sighed as he brought in the now overcooked pancakes and ate breakfast with his kids. He knew had a phone call to make that he really didn't want too, but knew he had too.

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Derek sighed after getting off the phone with Addison. She said to make or get Meredith's favorite thing to eat, because she had to eat something soon, which of course he knew. He was told what he knew he was going to have to do if she didn't, bring her back to the hospital. So he started on making her favorite lunch grilled cheese with tomatoes and a tall glass of water. He brought it up as she lie in bed, now fully dressed and flipping through the channels on television. He placed it on her lap and she looked up at him her eyes filled with curiosity.

"I figured I'd make you a nice lunch." said Derek as he smiled a small smile and sat down next to her.

Meredith stared at the sandwich for a few moments before picking it up and a taking a large bite, she also gulped down a lot of the water. Her body welcoming the nutrition. She finished about ten minutes later and moved the tray and lay her head on Derek's chest.

"I wish I could help you." said Derek as he played with her hair.

"You are helping Derek." said Meredith her voice quivering slightly." I just feel like crying all the time."

Derek kissed the top of her head and brought her closer. "It's okay to cry Mere. Sometimes it helps." said Derek as he ran his thumb over her cheek brushing a tear that had escaped.

"I just wish it hadn't happened." whispered Meredith.

"Me too Mere. Me too."


	24. Exciting Phone Calls

_**Thank you too everyone who has been with me from the beginning of this incredible story! I wanted to know if everyone is still interested if I continue?**_

_Three Weeks Later_

Meredith sat contently on her day off drinking a cup of coffee as she watched her children color on the dining room table. It hadn't taken a while but Meredith was finally back to her old self. It's not that part of her still didn't miss that baby; she just knew she had to keep moving forward for her kids.

"Mommy, look at my picture." said Lily as she held a paper filled of scribbles.

"Wow Lily- Bean it's beautiful!" said Meredith as she brushed some of her daughter's blond locks out of her face with her hand.

"Mommy when's Kat coming back?" asked Liam as he continued to color.

Meredith glanced at her watch to find it was nearly eleven o'clock almost time to pick up Katherine.

"Soon buddy. We have to go get her from school very soon." said Meredith as she ruffled her son's curls and went to put her coffee pot in the sink. As she went to leave the kitchen the phone rang.

"Hello?" answered Meredith as she picked up the phone.

"_Hi is this Mrs. Shepherd?" asked a kind voice._

"Yes it is. Who's calling?" asked Meredith as she played with her wedding band.

"_Hi this Christine Lewis from "Loving Life." adoption agency. I'm the woman you met at the hospital when you adopted your daughter from us."_

"Oh yes hi." said Meredith curious to why the woman was calling her.

"_Hi. I'm actually calling because your daughter Lily's birth-mother recently had a second child that once again she does not want to keep. We always contact family of an open adoption. We wanted to know if you wanted to adopt her brother." _

Meredith's breath caught in her throat her palms suddenly becoming sweaty. "Oh. I see."

"_Now you're in no way held up to take this baby. We just wanted to check if you were looking into adoption again. We try to place family members in the same family."_

"I see. Well this something I'm going to have to talk to my husband about. But I'll get back to you. May I ask though what gender the baby is?" asked Meredith.

"Of_ course, a little boy who was born at four this morning. He weighs seven pounds and two ounces and not a heath concern."_

Meredith smiled slightly. A boy, so perfect it was unrealistic. They could be happy again and their family would be complete." Thank you I'll give you a call back later on today. Alright then. Bye." said Meredith as she hung up the phone and rubbed her forehead gently. She quickly dialed his number tapping her foot impatiently.

"_Mere?"_ his voice filled with concern immediately, because she rarely called when he was working.

"I need you home as you can get off." said Meredith

"_Why is something wrong? Is everything okay?"_ his voice filled with concern, questioning and love.

"I need to talk you about something that can't wait." said Meredith.

"_Alright I'll take to the Chief and get home as soon as I can."_ said Derek.

"Thanks. I love you." said Meredith.

"_I love you too Mere. I'll be right home." _said Derek as he hung up.

Meredith sat patiently waiting for about twenty minutes until she heard him come in the front door. She immediately got up and walked into foyer and kissed his cheek as she embraced him tightly.

"You ran my dear?" joked Derek.

"I got a phone call today. A big phone call." said Meredith as she leaned her head on his chest.

"A good phone call or bad?" asked Derek as he breathed in the scent of lavender from her still damp hair.

"A good one. A great one!" said Meredith as she looked up into his blue eyes.

"So tell me what it was about?" asked Derek curiosity suddenly getting the best of him.

"How would you like a son?"


	25. Wishing and Hoping

_**Loving all the reviews that are pouring in!**_

"What?" asked Derek as he pulled back to look at the smile on Meredith's face. "What are you talking about?"

"Lily's birth-mother had a second child that she doesn't want. The adoption agency contacted us because they try to keep families together. A little boy born last night." said Meredith as she smiled lightly. "I don't know but… I think we should go down to the hospital and least see him and meet him." said Meredith

Derek smiled at Meredith's excitement and kissed her forehead "I think that's a good idea." said Derek. "We're sure we want to adopt though?" asked Derek

"Well then we have an even amount of kids, so when they get older less yelling at us." said Meredith as she brushed his chest with her hand." Which means more of this…" said Meredith as she gently kissed his neck. "And a lot of this." said Meredith passionately kissing him and running her fingers through his curls.

Derek pulled away and nodded." Alright let's go meet this little guy. Not for the sex, but because this boy deserves a future that maybe we can give him."

Meredith kissed him passionately and pulled away looking at her watch. "I have to go get Kat, but when I get back you and I and the kids are going up the hospital." said Meredith grabbing her bag and rushing out the door.

Derek smiled as he walked in too see his kids, glad to see Meredith smiling again.

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Meredith linked arms with Derek as they walked down the hall way after leaving the kids in the Chief's office to play while they went to see the baby. Meredith walked to the glass and saw Nurse Olivia who happened to be working a shift. She waved and motioned them to come in.

"Hi. We're actually here to see the baby up for adoption." said Meredith.

"Sure. Let me get him. Why don't you sit down?" asked Olivia as Meredith sat down in a nearby chair and Olivia went and got the baby. She slowly walked over and placed him in Meredith's arms. He yawned a tiny yawn his little mouth stretching as wide as it could go.

"Oh big yawn." said Meredith as the baby gripped her finger tightly. "He's got a nice grip. Right? You do because you're big and strong." said Meredith using the voice she only talked to babies with. "You want to hold him?" asked Meredith to Derek.

Derek nodded his head as he took the baby boy who was now beginning to wake up. He opened his eyes to reveal big blue eyes just like his. Did they have a knack for picking out kids that fit so well in or what?

"Well you'll blend right into our little family." said Derek as he bounced the baby slightly as he went back to sleep.

Christine, the woman holding the adoption process walked into the nursery with a worried look on her face.

"He's perfect." said Meredith standing up pulling the baby's hat that was falling slightly gently back onto his head.

"I'm so sorry." said Christine.

"Why would you be sorry?" asked Derek as he handed the baby back to Meredith.

"The mother decided she wants to keep him."


	26. Rain Rain Gi Away and Dirty Minds

Chapter 26

_**Chapter 26! I can't believe we've made it this far! Seems almost unrealistic, I want to thanks everyone who's been with me from the beginning of the story and will be with me till I decide to end this!**_

Meredith ran through the hospital tears in her eyes as she ran far from the nursery. The kids were already brought home by Alex, so it was just Meredith and Derek.

"Meredith!" called Derek as he ran after her trying to keep up wit her. "Meredith." said Derek as she ran out to the parking lot, where it was heavily raining, he finally grabbed her elbow. "It's ok." said Derek.

"No! It's not okay every time I get close to someone important or special they're taken away. Our fourth baby was special because it's our last. The baby was special because he was Lily's brother. Susan was special because she was the mother I never had. Doc was special because he was my first dog." said Meredith shaking her head as her blood-shot eyes continued to contain her tears. "I just can't do it anymore." said Meredith taking the keys and running off to the car to start the engine.

"Where are you going?" asked Derek.

"Somewhere." said Meredith taking off and going in the opposite direction towards their house.

Derek sighed as he realized she had taken the only car and it was starting to pour. "It's fine." said Derek talking to Meredith's car as it faded into the distance. "I like walking in the rain."

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Nearly four hours later it was nearing close to nearly six o'clock and Derek still had yet to arrive home. Meredith had immediately gone home after leaving the hospital, wanting to relieve Alex. She felt horrible for making Derek walk home in the rain. She heard the front door open and heard wet shoes creak through. She immediately walked into the foyer to see a soaking wet Derek.

"Oh Derek I'm so sorry." said Meredith running to get a towel and handing one to him and she helping by trying to dry his hair. "I'm sorry I got so upset. I gave you pneumonia." said Meredith as she worriedly dried his hair.

"It's ok. I know how you're feeling about wanting a baby. You needed space." said Derek as he dried his clothes as best as he could.

"You need a warm bath with that weird stuff you put in the kids bath when their sick." said Meredith.

"Eucalyptus." laughed Derek at Meredith talent for explaining things.

"Yes you need that before you get sick." said Meredith as she ran her hand across the stubble on his face. "And the kids already ate and are watching a movie, maybe if you're lucky I'll join you." said Meredith as she winked at him and went up the stairs

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Meredith sat in the tub with Derek slowly kissing her neck only a few minutes later. She giggled as he hit her "spot" and swatted him away gently now pleased.

"When was the last time we did this?" asked Meredith as Derek started kissing the other side of her neck.

"When you were trying to be bright and shiny." said Derek.

Meredith smiled." I prefer now bright and twisty. A little bit of both."

"The perfect combo." said Derek as Meredith lay back on his chest and they sat in the nice warm water relaxing.

Meredith broke the silence moments later. "Derek?"

"Yeah?" asked Derek as he put his nose in her hair.

"Do you think we can try for a baby again?' asked Meredith.

"Of course we can." said Derek as he kissed the temple of her forehead.

"Can we start now?" asked Meredith. "Right here?" she asked suggestively raising her eyebrows

"Dirty mind. But I like the way you think." said Derek flipping Meredith over as she laughed.


	27. Mini McDreamy and A Baby

_**Thanks everyone for the lovely reviews! **_

_Three Weeks Later_

Meredith sat on the floor waiting for the timer to go off yet once again. She should be getting her kids ready to go the hospital Halloween party, but she had to know. Her hands were shaking as the timer rang and two pink lines stared back at her. She let out a gasp as her face broke out into a smile.

"Mommy!" called Katherine as she knocked on the door.

"I'm coming sweetie. Hold on a second." said Meredith as she threw away the pregnancy stick and washed her hands smiling broadly. She unlocked the door and walked into her bedroom to find all three of her children bouncing excitedly at the door.

"Costumes!" bounced Lily excitedly up and down on Derek and Meredith's plush bedroom carpet.

Meredith laughed as she kissed Lily's forehead and led her kids to the bed where she had laid out their costumes.

"Momma we get candy tonight?" asked Liam.

"Well you will Buddy but tonight that's the night we go trick or treating. Halloween is tomorrow. So you get to wear your costume twice." explained Meredith as she brushed Lily's hair and pulled a piece of hair and clipped it in the back. She then stuck her princess tiara on. She then helped Lily get into her pink tights and princess dress. She then put her pink ballet flats on her feet.

"Alright Lily- Bean you're done. Now don't get the costume messed up okay?" said Meredith as she pulled Katherine wild curls into two low pigtails and perched her headband with antennas on her head. She then helped her into her lady-bug costume and put on her black ballet flats.

"Alright Kat you are done too. Moving on too Dr. Liam." said Meredith as Liam giggled and pulled his scrub costume off the bed. She placed him in his navy scrubs and white lab coat that had "_Dr. Shepherd"_ stitched on. She then stuck a scrub cap with ferry boats on his head finishing with black sneakers.

"Okay Liam do it exactly how we practiced." said Meredith kneeling in front of him." When someone comes up to you and say how nice you look you say…"

"I have a thing for ferryboats you know." said Liam as she smiled his cute smile at the end.

Meredith giggled and gave him a high five and placed her stethoscope around his neck. "Now be careful with this okay it's Mommy's."

Liam shook his head understanding and raced off into the living room to join his sisters. Meredith then changed into a costume consisting of a white long sleeve shirt white pants and an angel's halo. She then walked into the living room to grab her kids and hit the road.

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Meredith walked into the cafeteria that was decorated for Halloween and was pleasantly surprised at how full it was already. Derek had an emergency surgery and would meet them later. He had no idea about Liam's outfit and would probably get a kick out of it. Katherine ran off to join the kids she knew while Liam and Lily kept firm grasps on my hand. As we walked through the crowd we spotted Mark and Izzie and Anna who was safe and secure in Izzie's arms dressed as a pumpkin.

"Hey guys." said Meredith as she stopped to talk to them. "Hi Anna." said Meredith stroking the sleeping baby's hand.

"You look so pretty Lily." said Izzie as she fixed Lily's falling tiara.

"I'm a princess Aunt Izzie!" said Lily as she smiled widely.

Izzie laughed as she continued to talk to Lily leaving Meredith to talk to Mark.

"And what are you little man?" asked Mark as he picked Liam up and talked to him from a sideways glance in his arms.

"I'm a doctor." said Liam as he looked Meredith to see if he should proceed to what he was taught to do. "I have a thing for ferryboats you know."

Mark immediately laughed along with Meredith as Liam smiled his best "McDreamy" smile. "Just like your Dad." said Mark as he tickled Liam before putting him down. "Where is Derek?" questioned Mark.

'Emergency Surgery." said Meredith as she fixed Liam's scrub cap. " He should be here any…" said Meredith glancing around and spotting him at the entrance. His eyes met her gaze and he walked right over.

"Hey. Cute costume." said Derek as he smiled at her choice of clothing and kissed her lips gently.

"Daddy!" said Liam pulling on his scrub pants.

Derek smiled as he looked down and laughed at the sight. He immediately pulled Liam into his arms and laughed. "I love your outfit buddy! Nice scrub-cap." said Derek as he smiled at his son's Halloween Costume.

Liam once again looked at Meredith who once again nodded and he proceeded. "I have a thing for ferryboats you know." said Liam as Mark and Meredith and Izzie broke into a fit of laughter.

Derek frowned as he kissed Liam's forehead and put him down to run with the other kids. "Teaching my children to mock me?" joked Derek as he put his arms around Meredith's waist.

"Of course not." said Meredith as she smiled and swatted him away gently. " Can we take a walk and talk?" asked Meredith.

Derek's eyes immediately became concerned "Of course. Mark you've got the kids?" asked Derek as they walked towards the exit. Mark nodded his head as he went back to talking Katherine about Halloween candy.

Meredith grasped Derek's hand as they walked to the elevator and she took his had and led him through the halls of Labor/Delivery over to the nursery. "There's something we need to talk about." said Meredith as she took off her angel halo and shook out her locks of hair.

"Okay is everything alright? "asked Derek as he rubbed his finger over her hand gently.

"Yeah. Everything's perfect. You just need to look in that incubator for me." said Derek as she pointed to an empty incubator with a name card. Derek's eyes moved to the name card which read,

_Baby Shepherd _

_Due About 8 ½ months from now._

Derek's eyes immediately lit up and he turned to Meredith who just shook her head and laughed as he pulled her in for a passionate kiss.

" I love you. Nothing could be more perfect right now." said Derek as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

Meredith led his hand to her stomach and placed it there. She smiled as she gently stroked his fingers.

" No now anything couldn't be more perfect."

'Happy Halloween Mere."


	28. Nightmares and Unhappiness

_**Thanks for the reviews! Did anyone else see the promo for Season five? It makes me a tad bit nervous! So I decided to write a very fluffy chapter after seeing so. Okay two more questions. Does anyone know which episode Doc was brought in and if so can you please tell me in a review or something. Secondly I want everyone to submit an idea for a coming chapter; I want your input in this story too. Anyway on with the chapter!**_

Meredith shot up in bed a cold sweat drenching her forehead. She let out a shaky breath as she slowly closed her eyes and tried to remind herself it was only a dream.

Derek, who had felt the bed move, when she shot up, immediately turned the bedside lamp on and sat up and turned over. "Mere what's the matter?"

Meredith shook her head. "Nothing just a bad dream. I'm going to get a glass of water." said Meredith as she quickly left to go downstairs to the kitchen

Derek sat up in bed waiting for her and when she didn't come back immediately he went downstairs to the kitchen. He saw her staring at the glass of water in front of her on the kitchen table, tears evident in her eyes. He walked into kitchen and stood behind her gently massaging her shoulder as she tensed at his touch.

"Derek, I'm fine go back to bed." said Meredith as she dumped her water in the sink and leaned against the counter.

"Meredith, something's wrong. People just don't jolt up in bed." said Derek as he walked over and stood next to her.

Meredith sighed as she twiddled her fingers absently. "Just promise you'll never leave me."

Derek's mouth went open to protest, but he then though it would be better not to go into full detail of the dream again. "I promise you, never will I leave." said Derek as he squeezed her hand gently.

Meredith smiled gently and then yawned, displaying that obviously she was exhausted. Derek pulled her into his arms where she laid her head on his chest closing her eyes.

"Come on let's go back to bed." said Derek leading Meredith back upstairs into a world of slumbering.

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Derek awoke the next morning to the sound of Meredith getting sick in the bathroom, he slowly got up and walked into bathroom and pulled her hair back and rubbed her back until she finished getting sick.

"This is your fault. You and your stupid boy penis." said Meredith as she wiped her mouth with the toilet paper he handed her as she stood up and went to brush her teeth.

Derek laughed slightly as he kissed her forehead and walked back into the bedroom. Meredith stumbled in a few minutes later, crawling back into bed, since it was the weekend and both she and Derek had off.

"Mere? Do you think we should tell the kids about the baby?" asked Derek as went to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"I guess so. I've made it past the risky part; I guess it would be a good idea." said Meredith sitting up in bed slightly.

"So we tell them at lunch?" asked Derek as he sat back down on the edge of the bed.

"We tell them at lunch."

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Meredith placed a sandwich in front of Lily as she finally sat down after watching Derek prepare lunch. Her stomach was still slightly queasy and the though of being around or near food, made her stomach turn. Derek nodded as he sat down and took a sip of water.

"Guys, Mommy and Daddy have something to tell you…" started Meredith.

"Something big that means our house is going to change a little." said Derek adding on.

"Are we getting a puppy?" asked Katherine excitedly as she smiled a grinned a smile that mirrored Derek's so much it was almost frightening.

"No Kat... no puppy." said Meredith as she smiled at her.

"Well... Mommy's going to have a baby." said Derek as he looked at Meredith hoping he had done a good job breaking the news." Which means in a few months we're going to have a baby like Anna." said Derek.

"Is it a girl or boy?" asked Lily

"Well we don't know yet Lily- Bean." said Meredith as she smoothed her hair done with her hand.

"So we're going to be bigger people then the baby?" asked Liam.

"Yes Buddy, that's right." said Derek as he smiled and ruffled his son's curls.

"Kat? What do you think?" asked Meredith, to an unusually quiet Katherine.

"I don't want a new baby!" said Katherine shoving her dish off the table and running to bedroom.

"Katherine!" said Meredith standing up going to go after but then being sat back down by Derek's hand.

"I've got this." said Derek going after her.

"Well this is going well." Meredith muttered on her breath.


	29. Sibling Sadness and Cheating Husbands

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews and answers to all my question, remember everyone submit an idea for an upcoming chapter!**_

Derek followed Katherine down the hall where he watched her run into her room where she ran into her room flopped grabbing her favorite stuffed elephant and silently laying there as Derek sat down at the edge of the bed next to her.

"Kat?" said Derek rubbing her back gently as she angrily whimpered and moved from his touch. "Kat its Daddy, you can talk to me." said Derek as he watched as she squirmed father away from him. He then reached out and grabbed her and pulled her into his lap.

"No!" screamed Kat as she kicked his feet angrily hitting Derek on the chest.

"Katherine no kicking" said Derek sternly as he sat her up in his lap as she continued to protest.

"Go away!" said Katherine turning her face so Derek couldn't see her.

"Kat what's wrong? Why aren't excited about the new baby? You said you wanted a baby brother or sister." said Derek as looked in mirroring blue tear streaked eyes.

"But when the baby comes, you and Mommy aren't going to love me anymore." said Katherine now crying completely.

"Kat…" said Derek as he rubbed her tiny back as she cried. " Mommy and I are always going to love. No matter what." said Derek as he kissed the top of her head." Thing aren't going to change. I promise." said Derek as Katherine lay against his shoulder. "Come on why don't we go finish lunch." said Derek standing up and giving Katherine his hand as they walked back into the dining room.

"Hey look whose back." said Meredith as she crouched down in front of Katherine. "You okay now Kat?" asked Meredith as Katherine nodded and raced into Meredith's arms.

"Can it be a girl though?"

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Meredith leaned up against the back of the elevator as she laid her head sleepily against the wall. It was too early to even function, let alone perform surgery. She opened her eyes as the elevator opened. She smiled when she saw it was Derek getting on. She walked towards the middle where he was standing and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Someone's tired." joked Derek as he kissed her forehead and ran his fingers through her waves.

"Well maybe I could have slept better if someone hadn't suggested something else last night." said Meredith as she giggled.

"I didn't here any complaining last night." said Derek as pulled her into his embrace. "How's the morning sickness?" asked Derek genuinely concerned.

"Better. Not great, but I lost the nauseous twenty four seven feeling." said Meredith as she closed her eyes against his chest. "I have my first appointment with Addison when my shift's over. I'll just go by myself." said Meredith remembering Derek had to work two hours later then she did.

"I'll be there. I just have to get Dr. Patterson to cover for me." said Derek as he pulled away kissing her forehead and started flipping through the chart in his hand.

"Derek… you don't have too. It's only first trimester appointment boringness." said Meredith as they got off the elevator as they started walking towards the main desk.

"Meredith." said Derek cutting her off before rambling could occur." I'll be there." said Derek kissing her forehead and then walking off in a different direction then her.

"McDreamy's being all McPerfect again?" asked Cristina as she filled out a chart.

"Yeah." said Meredith sighing as she sat down in the nearest chair. "Too perfect."

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Meredith sat twiddling her thumbs as she waited for both Addison and Derek to enter the exam room. Moments later the door opened and Meredith head instantly went up hoping it was Derek. She sighed when it was Addison.

"Thanks, I can feel the love." joked Addison as she smiled gently as her heels clicked as she walked into the room.

"Sorry Addie, it's just Derek said he'd be here. I told him he didn't have to be… but I want him here." Meredith admitted sheepishly as played with the buttons on her blouse.

"Well why don't we give him five more minutes and then you can go look for him if you want." said Addison as she sat down on the stool.

"You know he hate's going to the doctor himself for a check-up." said Meredith suddenly. "A neuro-surgeon is afraid of going to the doctor."

"Oh you don't have to tell me. Once Derek has a horrible cough, worse case of bronchitis I've ever seen. Refused to go to the doctor though, filled out hiss own prescription and claimed he didn't need a doctor." said Addison laughing slightly.

"Come to think of it Derek's actually never been sick, for as long as I've been with him. Just colds nothing major." said Meredith. "But the man is stubborn about doctor's I'll admit that." said Meredith as she and Addison laughed.

"That he is." said Addison as she put on her gloves and tapped her toe absentmindedly on the floor.

"He's never late though. I'll think I'll go see if I can find him." said Meredith getting down from the exam table. "Do you mind?" Meredith asked Addison before leaving the room.

"No go ahead. I'm just on-call for the rest of the day, no surgeries unless one comes in." said Addison." Go find your husband." said Addison with a small smile.

Meredith nodded and quickly left the room wandering the halls looking for Derek, she though she had checked everywhere till she finally saw him. Unfortunately he wasn't alone. Nurse Rose had one arm around his neck and the other arm stroking his cheek. Meredith stopped dead in her tracks.

"Derek!" shouted Meredith tears welling in her grey-green eyes. "How could you?"

_**Dun Dun Dun! I know I'm evil! Reviews make me update faster! Most likely another chapter will be up tomorrow!**_


	30. Tired Old Man and Woman

Thanks everyone for the reviews

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews! Thirty chapters?! Can anyone believe it I sure can't! I could very easily write thirty more!**_

Derek turned to see Meredith after he heard his name. He gently shoved Rose away.

"Meredith, it's not what you think." said Derek steeping towards her.

"How could you do this? To us? To our family!" said Meredith as she turned around and quickly stormed out of the area and up to what Derek presumed was the daycare.

Derek turned around to see an ashamed and mortified looking Rose. "I don't you ever never near me again. Me or my family. Look what you've done because you were jealous." said Derek harshly as he followed behind Meredith. He ran up the stairs following quickly behind her.

"Meredith!" said Derek as he ran two steps behind her. "Meredith!" he called again as she didn't answer. He grabbed her elbow stopping her from going any farther.

"What?" asked Meredith her voice filled with anger but yet still quivering at the same time.

"Mere you have to let me explain." said Derek. "She came up on me I swear, I shoved her away." said Derek.

"How come you weren't shoving her when I found you? Hmm?" said Meredith tears threatening to spill from her eyes as the words escaped her mouth. "You weren't doing anything relatively related to pulling away so I don't want to here it." said Meredith pulling away from his grasp and continuing up the stairs.

Derek sighed as he watched her walk away. He knew he needed to giver her time to blow off some steam, but at the same time he wanted to pull her into his arms and apologize over and over again until she realized he would never do such a thing.

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Meredith sat with her kids at dinner after a nice hot shower, trying to scrub away today's pain. She smiled as Lily talked about how someone got in trouble at daycare. She wrapped her sweater closer to her body as she felt a chill. She admired the Christmas tree in their living room all lit up and sparkling with fireworks of different colors.

"Mommy?" said Katherine breaking Meredith from her trance.

"Yes Kat?" said Meredith as she started to clear the plates away from dinner.

"We haven't written our letters to Santa Claus yet." said Katherine worriedly. "And Christmas is in….." said Katherine as she jumped up and ran to the calendar posted on the fridge counting down the days till Christmas. She counted quickly. "Ten days!" exclaimed Katherine.

Meredith laughed at her daughter's concern and patted her hair gently." Don't worry Kat we'll write them right after Mommy finishes cleaning up." said Meredith as she smiled at her daughter.

"Yeah!" said Katherine bounding into the living room excitedly to tell her siblings.

Meredith smiled as she finished loading the dishwasher. She heard the door open and close and heard someone come in. She dreaded the thought of the person walking through that door. She quickly glanced up and saw Derek carrying a bouquet of Lavender lilies, her favorite flowers. Derek extended his arm holding out the flowers to Meredith.

"Flowers won't make this better Derek." said Meredith as she took the flowers and flopped them on the counter.

"Meredith. How could you even think I would cheat?" asked Derek as he leaned up against the counter as she furiously scrubbed the dishes.

"I don't know Derek, but then again maybe I don't you anymore." said Meredith as she put the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on. "Now if you excuse me I promised to help my children write Christmas letters." said Meredith living the kitchen and heading for the living room.

Derek sighed running his finger through his hair and slowly following after her. This exactly wasn't going to be as easy as he thought.

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Meredith slipped into her pajamas and was pulling down the covers when Derek emerged from the bathroom also clad in pajamas. They both looked at each other.

"I'll go sleep on couch." said Meredith grabbing her pillow and heading for the door.

"No Mere, I'll go. You're carrying a child." said Derek grabbing his pillow and starting for the door.

That's when Meredith lost it. Thoughts began running through her head. What if Derek and her couldn't work things out? This child wouldn't grow up with two parents that loved each other. That wasn't fair to this poor innocent little person. She felt tears well up in her eyes as a lone tear slipped down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away hoping Derek wouldn't notice, but he did.

"Oh Mere." said Derek walking over to her. "Don't cry." said Derek standing front of her as another tear slipped away. "Mere… Meredith." said Derek trying to get her to focus on him instead of all the thoughts causing her to get upset. He knew if he held her or touched her she might flinch back or shove away. "Mere." said Derek as she continued to cry and he finally gave in to his instinct and hugged her even if she didn't want to be.

Meredith wrapped her arms around Derek's waist holding on, and never wanting to let go.

"Shh. I'm not going anywhere." said Derek as he gently stroked her back with his thumb and index finger. He held onto her not saying anything until all her heard were a few sniffles.

"Sorry." said Meredith pulling away and wiping her cheeks quickly with a tissue from her nightstand. "These hormones make me cry when I don't want to." said Meredith trying to lighten the mood. She looked down at her feet and then looked up into Derek's blue eyes. "I'm sorry for not believing you. I should've known you wouldn't cheat and that Nurse Rose would be all over you." said Meredith.

"It's fine. You did what anyone would do." said Derek as he tucked a strand of hair out of Meredith's face. She then yawned, evidently showing she was tired. "Tired?" Derek joked with an amused grin.

"Maybe a little." said Meredith as she sat down on the bed.

"Alright well I'll be downstairs if you need me." said Derek not wanting to pressure Meredith to fats by just magically crawling back into bed.

"No, wait stay." said Meredith as Derek was about to leave. She pulled his arm pulling him down on the bed with her so they faced each other. "The tired old woman needs some company." said Meredith as she snuggled into Derek's arms; she fit best.

"Well the tired old man would love to keep you company."


	31. Christmas Drama

_**Thanks for everyone who reviewed! Hope everyone is thinking of an idea for an upcoming chapter! Send it to me if you have great one!**_

Derek groaned as he heard little feet pad into Derek and Meredith's bedroom extremely early Christmas morning.

"Merry Christmas!" shouted Liam, Lily and Katherine all at once. They then climbed onto the bed, in attempt to get their parent's up.

"Uh." groaned Meredith as she laid her head in the crook of Derek's shoulder in attempt to hide from her children and go back to her peaceful slumber.

"Mommy! Daddy! Come on get up! We want to see what Santa brought us!" said Katherine as she bounced shaking the bed.

"Alright, we're up we're up." said Derek as he sat up in bed bringing Meredith him. "Merry Christmas guys." said Derek as he smiled at his eager children.

"Merry Christmas." said Meredith finally waking up after her stretching her arms out.

"Mommy we go down now?" asked Liam

"Yeah come buddy let's go see what Santa brought you." said Meredith swinging her legs off the bed as her children ran down the stairs. Derek grabbed her shoulder leaning on it.

"Three thirty, unwrapping Christmas presents, I feel hung over." said Derek as he laughed as they made their way down the hall.

"Cheer up for your children." said Meredith sarcastically repeating what Derek told her last night when she was complaining about having to put all the toys together.

Derek laughed slightly as they finished climbing down the stairs and headed into the living room to see the three children happily marveling at all their new presents. Lady, their dog sitting upright, after being woken by all the commotion.

Meredith sat down and watched her kids, as Derek went to get coffee for him and tea for her.

"Mommy! Look what Santa brought me!" said Katherine rushing up to show Meredith the American girl doll bitty baby.

"Wow Kat, you must have been a good girl this year to get such nice things." said Meredith as she smiled at her daughter's excitement. Katherine eagerly nodded her head and returned to her gifts.

Derek returned handing her a mug. "Want to open gifts later?" asked Derek referring to him and Meredith exchanging gifts.

"Daddy! Look! Santa brought me a rocking horse!" said Lily running up to her father and pointing to the wooden rocking horses under the tree.

"Wow Lily-Bean. Did you check to see if you got a cowgirls hat?" asked Derek as Lily's head frantically spun around looking. She gasped running over to the hat.

Meredith smiled as she leaned her head on Derek's shoulder and watched her children marvel at all the new toys.

"Mommy! Santa brought me trains!" said Liam as he held one up and went back to playing.

"Very nice Liam." said Meredith as she smiled at her son. Derek stood up extending his hand to her.

"Where are we going?" asked Meredith curiously as she stood up.

"I figured I'd get started on breakfast. Who wants waffles?" asked Derek towards his children.

"Me! Me! Me!" shouted Liam, Lily and Katherine.

Derek smiled and led Meredith into the kitchen. He went over to the counter to start preparing the food while Meredith sat down.

"You do realize I'm not much help. Just good company." said Meredith as she laughed slightly and then winced slightly holding her abdomen.

Derek turned around quickly panic written on his face." What's wrong?" asked Derek walking over to her.

Meredith shook her head. "Nothing the baby's just fluttering around a lot and it burns in certain places. Don't worry." grinned Meredith as she winked at him and lay her hand on her slightly larger then normal abdomen.

"Is that supposed to happen so early?" asked Derek.

"It's completely normal Derek." said Meredith.

"I know but you don't even look that pregnant yet." said Derek studying Meredith's stomach slightly.

"Derek I may not look it but I'm almost three months pregnant." said Meredith standing up and turning to the side to so Derek could see a profile of her stomach.

"To be honest I don't see much a difference." said Derek as he pulled her by the waist closer to him.

"Well you sure know how to charm one on Christmas Dr. Shepherd." said Meredith as she leaned into kiss him as they were interrupted by a scream from the leaving room and crying.

"Lily!" said Meredith running into the room with Derek right behind. She ran over to her daughter's side where she was laying on the ground blood dripping from a deep part on her cheek and knocked unconscious.

"Call 911."


	32. The Apple and the Tree

_**Thanks everyone for the fantastic comments! I'm trying to update as much as I can, with school and everything, hope everyone has a great start to the weekend!**_

Meredith and Derek ran in after the stretcher pushing Lily. The Chief ran up to the stretcher as they pulled in.

"What the hell happened?" demanded the Chief to the EMT.

"Two year old Lily Shepherd, fell off a wooden toy rocking horse, is unconscious, suffering from a deep wound to the cheek possible broken jaw and head trauma.

"Alright get her into a trauma room." said Derek as he looked as Meredith held her daughter's hand and Derek who stood next to her.

"Head trauma? Chief you have to let…" started Derek.

"Enough. Neither one of you is on this case." said Richard as he started to wheel the gurney into the trauma room he paused at the nurses station. "Page the pediatric plastic surgeon." told one of the nurses as he shut the door behind him.

Derek walked over to the desk." Page Mark Sloan." said Derek urgently.

"Doctor Shepherd, I can't do that, he's not on call today." said the nurses as she shook her head.

"Page Mark Sloan." said Derek more fiercely and aggressively as the frightened nurse shook her head as reached for the phone.

"Derek… Derek." said Meredith pulling Derek away from the nurse's desk. "You need to calm down." said Meredith soothing rubbing a hand against his chest.

"Meredith how can I stay calm when my daughter's in a trauma room?" said Derek fiercely.

"Alright but you don't need to snap at me or the nurses." said Meredith slowly starting to get annoyed.

"I didn't snap at you." said Derek.

"Derek... don't do this. Not now." said Meredith.

"Meredith I'm not doing anything." said Derek running his fingers through his hair and letting out a slow deep breath." I'm going to take a walk." said Derek walking away from the area.

Meredith sighed as she walked back to the desk to start filling out paperwork. She was interrupted when a hand was placed on her shoulder.

"What happened?" said Mark clearly out of breath from getting here so quickly.

"Please tell me you did not leave Izzie and your daughter alone on her first Christmas." said Meredith.

"Izzie told me I needed to go and I think Anna will understand. I need to get in there." said Mark letting go of her shoulder. "Where's Derek?" asked Mark as he quickly looked around.

"Taking a walk." said Meredith quietly as she filled out the form.

Mark smiled sadly." I'll update you in a little while." said Mark heading towards the door. "Mere?" he called to her.

Meredith turned her head and looked at Mark.

"It's going to be okay." said Mark before entering the room.

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Derek shook his head as he walked back to the waiting room; he stopped when he saw Meredith and Rose talking. Oh god that can't be good. He listened to their conversation as they spoke.

"You know; people are saying your just like her." said Rose as she filled out a chart.

"I'm sorry?" said Meredith looking up.

"Your mother, I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." said Rose as she put the chart back and started to walk away.

Meredith breathed a deep angry breath." Rose!" she called out. "Just so you know I love my children and cherish them and all things my mother never did. If anyone compares to her it's you. "You're just as cold and sick as she was." said Meredith walking off to find Derek.

Derek locked eyes with her as she walked over. He immediately in-gulfed her in a hug. He breathed the scent of lavender and played with the drawstring of her pajama pants she had yet to change out of.

"I shouldn't have left you during something like this." whispered Derek.

"You just needed a moment. It's okay now though. She's going to be fine." said Meredith.

"Meredith? Derek?" said Mark coming out of the room looking for them.

Meredith and Derek immediately turned eager to receive news. They were hoping for only good news.

"There's no head trauma, or any anything else detectable. She's awake now, and we think the reason of her un-conscious was the shock of the fall. As for her cheek I stitched her up and she won't have a scar. You can see her now." said Mark steeping aside and holding open the door.

"She's okay." asked Derek holding Meredith's hand.

"She's okay."


	33. My Forgetful Valentine Part 1

Thanks everyone for the reviews

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews! Hope everyone was as relived as I was that Lily was okay! Just so everyone knows this jumps from Christmas to the middle of February right on Valentine's Day.**_

Meredith sat in a chair at the front desk looking over a chart for her patient's craniotomy in half an hour. Along with that, the patient had a tumor on her frontal lobe and the stakes were high, but Meredith was determined to make sure this woman came out of surgery alive.

"Hey." said a voice bringing Meredith out of her thoughts. She looked up to see Derek in his navy scrubs and his lab coat.

"Hey. Aren't you supposed to be in surgery?" asked Meredith as she pulled her hair into a ponytail.

"Nope not unless something comes in." said Derek leaning up at the nurses counter. " So I was thinking… on call room?" asked Derek with a sly smile.

Meredith laughed slightly. "I wish I could I have a big surgery in an hour. Unless you want it, because I really don't." said Meredith handing him the chart so he could look at it. He read it carefully, flipping through the pages.

"I'll let you handle this one, I'll watch from the gallery. Just remember about our special plans tonight. I have George coming." said Derek as he quickly gave Meredith a quick peck on the cheek and walked toward the elevator.

Meredith quizzically raised her eyebrows, what plans for tonight. Was today something important. It wasn't her birthday and it wasn't their anniversary. It wasn't his birthday? What day could it be? Meredith placed a hand on her slightly swollen stomach. "Got any idea what special day is today?" asked Meredith.

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Meredith furiously scrubbed her hands out of walking out of a successful surgery. She couldn't even focus on that due to the fact that she still didn't know what today was. She untied her scrub cap tossing it in bin outside and started for the locker room. She quickly changed into her jeans, red long sleeve shirt and gray wool pea coat. She headed up-stairs to the day care center. She was surprised to find Derek already there helping the kids get their coats on.

"Mommy!" said all three of her children as they rushed forward to hug her.

Meredith smiled as she bent down and hugged Katherine who had ran the quickest and gotten to her first.

"Hi sweetie how was school today?" asked Meredith as she pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Good. Mommy guess what! My teacher said we're having a play for Easter." said Katherine excitedly.

"How exciting Kat. Did Ms. Ryan help you with your homework?" asked Meredith referring to one of the day care aides.

"Uh-huh." said Katherine as she skipped over to the coat rack to get her jacket and backpack. Meredith was then greeted by Lily.

"Momma!" said Lily as she ran over to her mother and hugged her tightly.

"Hi Lily-Bean! How was day-care?" asked Meredith.

"Mommy I played with dollies." said Lily as Meredith helped Lily put her hat and gloves on.

"Sounds like fun sweetie." said Meredith as she stood up. "Where's your brother?" asked Meredith

"Right here." whispered Derek as he walked over with a sleeping Liam in his arms all bundled up for the cold weather outside.

"Aw. My tired boy." said Meredith as she fixed his hat that was almost covering his eyes. She quickly signed the kids out and they started for the car.

"We only have an hour when we get home before the babysitter comes." said Derek as he strapped Lily into her car seat and got into the driver's side. "Think we can pull it off?" asked Derek as he started the engine.

"Sure we can." said Meredith as she smiled and turned to look out the window, panicking still not knowing what today was.

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"Alright the number is on the fridge for the restaurant. If it's any emergency page or call us." said Derek as he slid his jacket over his nice shirt and tie and khaki dress pants. "Mere?" he called up the stairs.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." said Meredith was she walked down the stairs in a black long sleeve dress that hugged her tiny swollen stomach and highlighted her curves and a pair of black boots. She slid into her coat as Derek held it out for her. "Thanks again George." said Meredith as they walked out onto the porch.

"No problem. Now you two don't stay out too late now." joked George as he shut the door behind them.

"Mrs. Shepherd, you look absolutely beautiful." said Derek as he and Meredith laced fingers and walked to the car.

"Well Mr. Shepherd, you don't look too bad yourself." said Meredith as Derek held the door open for her and she slid into the car.

"Your in a for wonderful Valentine's Day." said Derek as he kissed her lips gently and shut the door before he started walking around to the other side of the car.

Meredith's eyes widened as she finally remembered what day it was.

"Oh crap!"


	34. My Forgetful Valentine Part 2

_**Thanks for the reviews; they are truly why I got out of bed this morning, to see what you all thought of the chapters!**_

Meredith wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck as they approached docks. She walked with her hand intertwined with Derek's.

"Derek why are we….." started Meredith before looking up to see the ferry boat, all lit up with red lights and a table set for two. "Derek." Meredith said in awe.

"You like it?' asked Derek as he led her up the stairs of the boat onto the deck.

"Its beautiful." said Meredith now feeling completely guilty, that she had completely forgotten about Valentine's Day.

Derek pulled out her chair and pushed it in when she sat down. He then slid the silver tray off her plate to reveal her favorite, steak with mashed potatoes and spinach salad. Meredith smiled as she slowly picked at her food. He had done everything perfectly and she hadn't remembered to get him a gift. They finished the meal, just talking and casually taking sips of the sparkling water that was on the table. Derek stood up and held his hand out to her. Meredith looked at him quizzically.

"Where are we going?" asked Meredith as she stood up.

"On to the next romantic portion of the night." said Derek as they walked around the ferry boat and stopped when they reached an area covered in rose petals and a small wooden bench with chocolate covered strawberries resting on a tray on the bench.

"Derek, you didn't have to do all this." said Meredith as they walked over and sat down.

"I know but I wanted to. Just like I wanted to do this." said Derek as he pulled a long thick velvet box out of his pocket. "Happy Valentine's Day." said Derek.

Meredith gently took the box from him, staring at for a few minutes. She looked up to meet his face, his eyes urging her to open the box. She gently lifted the top to reveal and a pearl necklace. It was hung a gold chain and the pearl hung in a delicate way. It was probably the most beautiful piece of jewelry Meredith had ever seen.

"So? Do you like it?" asked Derek.

"I can't… I just can't." said Meredith closing the box, handing it back to him and rushing around the corner to get off the boat.

"Meredith!" he called as he put the jewelry box back in his pocket and quickly followed her. He tried to keep up with her but she beat him to the car, quickly opening the door. She quickly shut it behind herself, but clearly ignored that her finger was in the way and slammed it on her finger.

"Ow! Damn it!" said Meredith as she moved her finger gently.

Derek reached the car moments later and went up to her after witnessing what happened.

"You okay?" asked Derek as he took her finger and examined it gently.

Meredith smiled sadly at his concern. "I'm fine." She then averted his gaze as he tucked a flying piece of hair behind her ear.

"Am I really that bad at picking out gifts, that you run?" joked Derek.

"No Derek... this was utterly and completely perfect." said Meredith as buttoned up her jacket to protect herself from the cold. "It's just that... I… forgot…" started Meredith.

"Mere what's wrong?" asked Derek now mildly concerned.

"I feel like such a lame- ass loser for saying this. I forgot that today was Valentine's Day and forgot to get you a gift." said Meredith as she looked up at Derek's face waiting for a reaction.

Derek just stood there not talking for a moment before erupting into a fit of laughter.

Meredith swatted his arm. "It's not funny!"

Derek continued to laugh and then stopped himself to talk. "It actually really is." said Derek.

Meredith then smiled and let out a giggle and then slowly started laughing hysterically. Right along with her was Derek, also laughing. For the next five minutes all they did was laugh, finally they stopped and Derek pulled Meredith into a hug.

"I'm sorry Derek." sighed Meredith as she lay her head against his jacket.

"Meredith, you know I don't care about a stupid gift. Just being with you and getting to be married to you, for you carrying all my children and everything else... is the best and most wonderful gift I could ever ask for." said Derek as he stroked her hair.

Meredith looked up at him smiling. "That was very cheesy." said Meredith with a slight giggle.

Derek sighed and laughed slightly. "I don't care." said Derek kissing her forehead.

"Me either." said Meredith putting her head back on Derek's chest.

"Happy Valentine's Day Mere." said Derek as they watched the stars glimmer in the moonlight.

"Happy Valentine's Day Derek."


	35. Smores, Snowflakes and Late Night Chats

_**Thanks for the reviews everyone ). Hope everyone likes this chapter!**_

Meredith smiled as she watched her children excitedly turn their pajamas inside out, hoping for snow tomorrow. Derek had told them the old myth and they had insisted on trying it. Lily and Liam were helped by Meredith and Derek while Katherine quickly did it herself.

"Mommy will it snow now?" asked Lily as she reached to be picked up so she could see could see the soft snow flurries floating to the ground.

Meredith picked her up and tickled her stomach. "I hope so Lily- Bean." said Meredith as she watched the snow fall with her daughter's hands wrapped tightly around her neck.

It rarely snowed in Seattle, even in mid March, the month they were in now. But when it did snow, it snowed enough to enough to make a snowman or go sledding.

"Mommy couldn't it have snowed on a school day?" asked Katherine.

"Well maybe the skies knew Daddy and I would both be home tomorrow and that we could have fun in the snow." said Meredith as Katherine leaned her head on the side of her stomach.

"Where'd Liam and Daddy go?" asked Meredith as she looked down to Katherine.

"They're making smores in the microwave." said Lily.

Meredith smiled, Derek once told her that was something he and his father used to do in the wintertime. She was glad he did things with Liam to remind him of his father.

"Let's go see if we can steal a few." said Meredith as she put Lily down and they walked into the kitchen.

Meredith and the girls walked into the kitchen to see Liam licking all his fingers to get rid of the chocolate and Derek placing the smores together.

"Mind if we steal a few?" said Meredith as she rubbed her swollen stomach to seize the baby from kicking her any harder.

Derek nodded and smiled when he saw what Meredith was doing. "Kicking again?"

"I swear the moment I hit five and a half months, this child has not stopped. It's not even like it's a soft kick. It's like full on force." said Meredith taking Derek's hand and placing it where she was feeling the kicking.

"Looks like we got a soccer player on our hands." said Derek as he felt their child kicking. He kissed Meredith quickly and then went back to making the smores.

"Daddy!" called Liam.

"Yes Buddy?" said Derek bending down to Liam.

"I have something for you." said Liam with his father's cheeky smile on his face.

Derek's smile mirrored Liam's. "And what may that be?" asked Derek.

"This." said Liam as he took a chocolate dipped finger and touched Derek's nose before running off laughing.

Derek stood there confused as Meredith stifled a laugh. "I think he wants you to chase him." said Meredith as she handed Katherine and Lily a smore.

"Right on it." said Derek going after Liam. He returned moments later with a giggling Liam in his arms. He quickly wiped the chocolate off Liam's fingers and his own face.

"Alright now that everyone's had desert. It's time for everyone to go to sleep." said Meredith.

"Aw Mommy do we have to already?" asked Katherine.

"Yeah Kat it's bedtime, and Daddy and I are watching a movie." said Meredith as she wiped the chocolate off of Lily's mouth.

"Can we watch the movie Mommy?" asked Liam.

"I'm afraid not Liam, it's a grown up movie." said Derek as he saw the disappointment on all three kids faces. "Tell you what, when you guy's wake up tomorrow there might be now on the ground. The faster you go to sleep, the faster you can check." said Derek.

Derek sure didn't have to say it twice; all three of the kids were up the stairs in under a minute flash.

"You can thank me later." said Derek as he and Meredith walked upstairs.

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Meredith lay awake hours later, in their bed. She literally no matter what position she was in could not fall asleep. She sighed flipping onto her side. She smiled as she watched Derek peacefully sleep. She continued to turn for the next few minutes till she heard him wake up.

"Can't sleep?" said Derek as he draped his arm over her waist and pulled her close.

"Yes. I haven't slept a good nights sleep in about two and a half weeks. Thanks to the future soccer player." said Meredith as lay her head in the crook of Derek's shoulder.

"Just try and relax and you'll fall asleep. Close your eyes." said Derek as he watched Meredith sleepily closer her eyes. He waited until he thought she was asleep, to start talking to her stomach.

"Hey, take it easy in there. Give your Mom a little rest, she's going to need when you get here. I promise one of the first things we'll get is some sort of ball. But till you decide to come out take it easy no your Mom, she loves you a lot, and so do I." said Derek as he leaned over and kissed her stomach and finally settled into the pillows closing his eyes.

Meredith smiled slightly with her eyes still close, hearing every word of that little conversation and after that fell into a deep sleep.


	36. Hot Rainy Days and Contractions

_Thanks for the reviews! _

_**Three months later**_

Meredith was literally sweating to death, she was eight and a half month's pregnant and it was nearing the end of June. Imagine being in her shoes. She took a sip of water from the cup she had resting next to her. She was home all alone on this rainy, hot humid day. Katherine was at school, Derek at work and Lily and Liam were at daycare; after Derek insisted she didn't need any more stress around her. She dialed his phone again after feeling the second twinge in her back in the last five minutes.

"Come on Derek, pick up the phone." mumbled Meredith to herself as she winced as she felt another contraction start. She sighed when it went to voicemail. She waited to leave a message and when she did it wasn't a pleasant one. "Derek, this is your wife, or soon to be ex-wife if you don't get your ass home in the next twenty minutes. Just thought you might want to know I'm in labor. Talk to you soon." said Meredith as she hung up the phone. "Men" said Meredith as she started walking around.

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Derek was clipping an aneurism when he heard a pager go off. One of the nurses immediately went to see who's pager it was.

"Dr. Shepherd? It's for you." said the scrub nurse.

"Can it wait till I have this man's scalp sewn back together." asked Derek as he worked.

"It's a 911 from your wife sir." said the scrub nurse as Derek dropped the scalpel he was about to use.

"Can you close up?" Derek as a resident without even waiting for a response and ran out of the operating room. He ripped off his scrub cap, scrubbing out of surgery as fast as he could. He ran down the hall and out into the parking, praying that there was no traffic anywhere.

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Meredith let out a slow breath as she waited for a contraction to pass. She had her hands gripped on the couch as she anxiously waited for Derek to walk through the door. She heard the door slam quickly and looked up to see a frazzled Derek. She immediately stood up holding her stomach.

"We need to leave now." said Meredith as she tried to grab her bag from her bedroom, but Derek got to her first. They walked out to the car, and Derek helped Meredith in and he started the ignition.

"Let's go have a baby."


	37. Baby's Arrival

_**Alright everyone, this is a very important chapter, I know a lot of you have patiently waited for! Now I hope it lives up to everyone expectations! Just a reminder if anyone has an idea for an upcoming chapter or even a sequel (which I will definitely be doing by the way) please send the idea in a review! **_

Meredith gripped the side of the car door, as they waited in traffic on the high way. She closed her eyes exhaling slowly. Derek had once asked Meredith what a contraction felt like when she was pregnant with Liam, she said the best way to describe it is two bones rubbing up against each-other. Meredith was brought back to reality when a harsh contraction overtook her body, causing her to cry out in pain.

"Hang in there Mere, the freeway's clearing up a little." said Derek as he let her squeeze his hand.

"Derek we're not going to make it the contractions are too close." said Meredith as she let moaned in pain. "The hospital is still twenty minutes away. We're not going to make it.

Derek's face looked slightly panicked. He made sure not to show it though. "Mere we're going to make it. I promise. Look we're already moving." said Derek as they started to drive clearly down the high way.

"We're not going to make it." protested Meredith.

"Why not?" asked Derek as her continued to hold her hand as he drove.

"Because I have to push."

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Addison walked over to the nurse's station where she saw Mark sitting behind the desk feeding Anna. She smiled slightly before continuing over.

"Hey." said Addison. "Have Meredith and Derek come in yet?" said Addison as he tickled the baby's foot.

"Not yet. Izzie told me to look out for them, sine she had to go into an emergency surgery." said Mark as continued to feed his daughter.

"It wouldn't take this long to get to the hospital from their house would it?" asked Addison.

"Maybe they're stuck in traffic?" suggested Mark.

"No I don't like how close Meredith's contractions were when Derek called. I'm going to look for them." said Addison grabbing her coat and quickly heading out f the hospital.

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Meredith had her arms wrapped around Derek's neck as he moved her to the back seat. They both then heard a familiar voice.

"Meredith? Derek? What's going on?" asked Addison as she quickly ran up to them.

"My contractions are too close." said Meredith as she cried out in pain. "Addie I can't have this baby out here. It's pouring." said Meredith as realization sunk in and she started panicking.

"Meredith... I promise you and your baby are going to be completely fine. Derek go into my car and get the emergency medical bag." said Addison as she tossed Derek the keys.

"Addison I can't do this... not here… what if something goes wrong?" asked a panic stricken Meredith. "Where's Derek? I need Derek." said Meredith as she looked around in alarm for him.

"I'm right here Mere." said Derek as he gave Addison the bad and pushes down on the seats in the car so it was all flat and got behind Meredith. "Everything's going to be fine." reassured Derek as he kissed Meredith's forehead.

"Meredith I'm going to examine you okay?" said Addison as she quickly pulled on her gloves and examined Meredith. Her eye's immediately lit up in surprise. "Meredith the head is crowing already. A few pushes and she'll be out. On your next contraction I want you to push.

Meredith nodded as she felt her contraction build up and she pushed, for ten whole seconds. She let out a gasp as she stopped. "It hurts." whimpered Meredith.

"I know it does." said Derek as he pushed her hair out of her face. "But its almost over." he said as he kissed her forehead.

"He's right Meredith, the head's out already. One more really good push and you'll have your baby." said Addison as she took a baby blanket Meredith had brought in her overnight bag and laid it on her chest." You ready?" asked Addison.

Meredith nodded and pushed hard until she felt the baby slip out and she heard a tiny soft cry.

"She's out." said Addison as she suctioned the baby's mouth with the instrument from the emergency medical bag.

"She?" said Meredith as the baby was placed on her chest.

"Congratulations you two, you have another daughter." said Addison as she smiled.

Derek peered over Meredith's shoulder to get a better look at his newborn daughter crying.

"She's here." whispered Meredith as she rubbed the baby with the blanket.

"She's here."

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Meredith lay in a hospital bed later that night, in her own clothes and watched as Derek held their newborn daughter in his arms.

"She's perfect." said Meredith as stroked her daughter's cheek.

"She is. I think she needs a name though." said Derek as he smiled at Meredith.

"How about Madison?" suggested Meredith.

"That's a pretty name. What about Kate for the middle name?" asked Derek.

"After your grandmother?" said Meredith with a smile.

"I think it fits." said Derek as the baby yawned.

"Me too." said Meredith as she lay her head on Derek's shoulder and watched her daughter.

"Welcome to the world Madison Kate Shepherd."


	38. Mommy Madness and Colic Nights

_**Thanks for the reviews! **_

Meredith swaddled Madison in a pink blanket on the hospital bed, getting her ready to go home. She smiled as she buttoned her onesie and fixed her pink hospital hat. She then placed her into the pink carrier, the same one they received Lily in.

"Is my Maddie ready to go home?" asked Meredith in a soft voice as she stroked the baby girl's cheek. "Yes." said Meredith answering for the baby. For the most part she had been sleeping pretty well since she was born, but when she was awake she would cry for hours at a time. The doctor's thought she might be colic.

"Are we ready to go?" asked Derek as he leaned against the doorframe.

"I think we are." said Meredith as she sat down in the wheelchair outside and took any plants or balloons, while Derek held the carrier. They then got into the car parked in front of the hospital. Meredith sitting n the back with Maddie, to make sure she was okay.

"Ready to go home?" asked Derek he headed out of the parking lot.

"More than you could ever imagine." said Meredith with a laugh.

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Meredith sat with Madison in the nursery an hour after they got home form the hospital, trying to rock her to sleep. She had been almost asleep when Lily walked in and tried to get Meredith's attention.

"Mommy?!" said Lily loud enough to startle Maddie.

Maddie immediately started crying again. "Lily. You woke your sister." said Meredith as she bounced Maddie up and down trying to seize the crying.

"I want you to play dollies with me." said Lily as she stood in front of Meredith.

"I'm sorry Lily, I can't right now. Why don't you ask Kat to play with you?" suggested Meredith as she sat Maddie upright against her shoulder trying to calm her. "Alright Maddie, Shh Mommy's here." said Meredith as she kissed the top of the newborn's head.

Lily's lip quivered, clearly she was about to cry. "Lily… honey please don't…." said Meredith as Lily started to wail loudly as well. " Cry." said Meredith as she shifted the newborn and pulled Lily onto her other side of her lap. "Derek!" called Meredith. "I need you up here." called Meredith.

"I have my own dilemma." called Derek as he walked up the stairs. As he approached Meredith heard more crying. Derek walked into the room, with a crying Liam and Katherine in his arms.

Meredith sighed as she saw her children. "What happened?"

"Katherine wants you to help her with her summer reading and Liam wants you to read him a story. And I offered to do both, and they started crying for you." said Derek as he held both Kat and Liam in his arms.

Meredith closed her eyes and then sighed. "Alright I'll take care of all of this. You take Maddie. I'll feed her in a little while, I'll do all these things and then everything will be okay.

Derek nodded and set Katherine and Liam down on the plush carpet and walked over to Meredith outstretched arm holding a crying, scrunched face Madison.

"Shh. Come on Maddie, lets give Mommy and your sisters and brother some time." as he gently took her supporting her head and cradling her and walked into the next room.

Meredith immediately went into action by first reading Liam a story; she was half way through it when he fell asleep in her arms. She gently kissed his forehead and carried him to his bed, so he could sleep peacefully. She then helped Katherine with her summer reading and even helped her draw the pictures for the project. She then played dollies with Lily for half an hour. By the time she finished this all the kids were awake again, Madison was still crying and it was dinner-time. She walked into her and Derek's bedroom and found him in a chair bouncing Madison.

"Why don't you take care of food and I'll take her." suggested Meredith.

Derek nodded and gently passed Maddie from his arms to her. He gently pressed a quick kiss to Meredith's lips. "Your handling this so well, all the stress." he went to leave but not before stopping at the doorframe. "I love you."

Meredith smiled a small smile. "I love you too."

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Meredith felt tears forms I her eyes as she listened to Maddie wail. This had been going on for hours. After three kids, she didn't know how to get a baby to stop crying. Colic or not that was just plain sad.

"Maddie please stop crying honey." said Meredith as she rocked back and forth on the rocking chair. "Please stop crying." whispered Meredith as she laid her head back against the wall in exhaustion.

"Trade off?" asked Derek walking into the room.

Meredith leaned her head up to see Derek clad in a tee short and shorts. "No it's fine, go back to bed, you have to take the kids to day-camp in the morning." said Meredith as she continued to try and soothe Madison.

"Mere you've been up with her for almost two hours, go to bed." said Derek walking into the room.

"I can't. She won't stop crying. What if she needs to be fed? Last time I checked you don't have breasts?" said Meredith jokingly over Maddie's cries.

Derek smirked at her. "Go to bed. I'm not taking no for an answer." said Derek taking Maddie out of Meredith's arms. He immediately pulled a pacifier off the changing table and placed it in Maddie's mouth relieving some of the crying, but some whimpering could still be heard.

"How come I didn't think of that?" asked Meredith as she made her way to the door.

"Because you're sleep deprived, my dear." said Derek walking over to Meredith and kissing her cheek. "Come on we'll put her in the bassinet. We need sleep." said Derek leading her back into the master bedroom. He placed a now almost sleeping Madison into the bassinet next to Meredith's side of the bed and then he and Meredith crawled into bed.

"Derek?" whispered Meredith after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah?" asked Derek as he hugged her body closer to him.

"Can we really handle four kids?" asked Meredith. "Because it's only the first day and I'm exhausted already."

Derek rubbed her shoulder slowly. "We'll manage." said Derek as both he and Meredith closed their eyes.

"Derek one more thing?" said Meredith.

"What's that?" mumbled Derek sleepily.

"No sex, for a long time."


	39. Stressful Starts

_**I'm definitely having writers block for the next few chapters! If anyone has any ideas please share! Thanks again for all the reviews!**_

Meredith groaned as she rolled over the next morning. Maddie had kept her and Derek about most of the night. Derek had to wake up early to take the kids to their first day of camp. Unfortunately he had set the alarm, waking Meredith and unfortunately Maddie.

"I'll get her," said Derek slowly sitting up and walking to the bassinet on the other side of the bed.

"I feel like a truck ran me over and then went backwards and did it again." mumbled Meredith into the pillow.

Derek smirked as he walked back over with a now quiet Maddie in his arms. "Go back to sleep Mere, I've got everything under control." said as he kissed her forehead.

Meredith shook rubbed her shaking her head in protest and sat fully up. "I can't, I'm already awake and I can't leave you to get all the kids out the door." said Meredith swinging her feet over the side of the bed and standing up.

Derek sighed as he shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Fine, but when you crash on the couch later, don't expect me to carry you up to bed." said Derek

"Of course you will, I'm your wife I gave you your children." said Meredith as she kissed his cheek before grabbing a pair of shorts and a baggy tee-shirt to hide the remainder of baby weight.

"But now your not giving me sex." said Derek as he changed Maddie's diaper.

"Too bad." said Meredith a sing-song voice as Derek heard the water for the shower turn on.

Derek smiled as shifted Madison in his arms. "Your mother can be so difficult."

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Meredith shook out her wet hair as she walked down the stairs twenty minutes later to see Derek drinking coffee and reading the paper as Maddie slept in a playpen on the other side of the living room.

"When are you planning on getting them up." said Meredith as she sat down on the sofa next him.

"I figured I'd give them about ten more minutes. You know how Katherine and Lily aren't morning people." said Derek as he turned to the next page of the paper.

"Mommy!" called Liam rushing into the living room in his pajamas. "I'm up!" said Liam as he hopped onto the couch.

"I can see that." said Meredith as she kissed his forehead. "Someone's excited about camp."

"Can we leave yet?" Liam asked Derek.

"Not yet buddy, soon though." said Derek as he laughed at his son's excitement. "Why don't we go get you dressed and then you can eat breakfast." said Derek as he stood up.

"Okay." said Liam jumping off the couch and running for the stairs.

Meredith smiled as she watched Derek chase after Liam up the stairs. She then walked over to the bassinet as Maddie started to cry.

"What's the matter Miss Maddie?" said Meredith as she picked up her daughter swiftly. She bounced her slightly. "Okay…. okay no more tears." said Meredith as she sat down with her. "Are you hungry? Is that what's wrong?" asked Meredith as she pulled down her shirt to let the baby nurse. She then placed a blanket over chest, incase her kids came down. "Okay we're okay now." said Meredith as she stroked the baby's head. She continued to sit there until the baby was done feeding and then proceeded to burp her and then place her back down in the portable crib.

"Mere!" called Derek from upstairs.

"Yes?" called Meredith as she walked near the stairs.

"Katherine wants you." said Derek as he started to come down the stairs with Lily and Liam in tow." She claims she's not going to camp."

Meredith sighed as she started up the stairs. "Watch the baby please." Meredith called as she walked down the hall to Katherine's room where she was hiding under the covers." Kat?" called Meredith as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Go away." said Katherine.

'Katherine, sweetie it's time for you to get up and get ready for camp. All your friends from school will be there." said Meredith as she pulled down the covers to reveal a bed-head Katherine. "Come on I know it's early, Mommy doesn't like the morning's either." said Meredith as she pulled the covers down and pulled her daughter into her lap.

"I'm not going." whined Katherine.

"Yes you are." said Meredith as she rubbed her nose on Katherine's forehead and kissed the top of her head as she set her on the ground and stood up. "Come on sweetie we don't want to be late, your clothes are on your bed. Okay?' said Meredith as she pulled Katherine off the bed.

"I'm not going." protested Katherine loudly.

"Yes you are. Come on Katherine… please listen. You're going to get dressed and you're going to go to camp and have a great time." said Meredith.

"No!" screamed Katherine at Meredith.

Meredith immediately walked over to the middle of the room where Katherine stood. "Katherine Olivia we do not yell like that. Now get dressed and go downstairs for breakfast. Do I make myself clear?" said Meredith sternly.

"I hate you!" shouted Katherine. "You're the worst mommy ever!"

_**Uh-oh. How is Meredith going to take Katherine's words? Will she feel like she really has failed? Review and you'll find out!**_


	40. Hurtful Words and Apologies

_**Thanks for the reviews everyone! Sorry it took me so long to update!**_

Meredith turned around after hearing those words escape from her six year old daughter's mouth. "Just… get dressed." said Meredith barely finding her voice before quickly leaving the room. Meredith quickly ran down the stairs. She walked into the kitchen pouring herself a glass of water and gulping it down so fast she nearly choked on it.

"Mere?" said Derek as he walked over to her.

Meredith looked up and Derek saw the tears in her eyes threatening to fall to fall. "I'm trying so hard… to be a good mother to all of them. Juggle having four kids… and she goes and says she hates me. That I'm the worst mommy ever." said Meredith as she walked over to the sink and started scrubbing the coffee cups with soap.

"Mere…." said Derek pulling her away from the sink and into his arms.

And that's when the tears spilled and she softly sighed into his shirt as she cried. "I'm a horrible mother." she cried.

"Shh… We don't want Lily and Liam seeing you upset. You're not a horrible mother; I assure you she's just upset right now." said Derek as Meredith pulled away wiping the tears off of her face.

"It's … just that..." started Meredith.

"I know. Why don't you sit down and have something for breakfast with the kids and I'll go talk to her. Okay?" said Derek as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Meredith nodded. "Okay." she said as she walked into the dining room.

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Derek walked down the hall and knocked on Katherine's shut door.

"Katherine?" he said as he waited for her to open the door." Katherine Olivia Shepherd open the door right now." said Derek sternly as he heard the unlocking of the door and opened it to see Katherine sitting on the floor playing with her doll. He went and sat down next to her. "Katherine you upset your mother a lot." said Derek as he leaned against the dresser.

Katherine set there and continued to look at the doll." I didn't mean it." said Katherine quietly.

"I know you didn't but you need to apologize. We don't go around saying things like that to the people we love. And when we do we get in trouble. Big trouble. So no toys, television, dessert or friends over for the next week. You're going to do your summer work for school." said Derek as he stood up and helped Katherine quickly get dressed.

"How long is a week?" asked Katherine as Derek pulled a shirt over her head.

"Seven days. That means since its Monday, if you're good the entire week until next Tuesday you can have all those things back. If you're not then Mommy and I will make you wait longer. Understand?" said Derek as he tied her sneakers.

"Yes." said Katherine as she stood up.

"Good. Now let's go downstairs so you can apologize to Mommy and then eat something before camp." said Derek as they walked out of the room and down the stairs to see Lily and Liam watching TV and Meredith sitting at the table.

"Mommy?" called Katherine as she walked closer to Meredith.

Meredith looked up as her daughter stepped closer to her and hugged her. She gently wrapped her arms around her daughter's back.

"I'm sorry about saying I hated you. I didn't mean it. I love you." said Katherine.

"It's alright Kat, I know you didn't mean it." said Meredith as she stroked her daughter's hair. "Now eat some breakfast and then Daddy's going to drive you guys to camp." said Meredith as she stood up and walked over to the playpen and picked Maddie up.

"I want you to come too Mommy." said Lily as she walked over hugging Meredith's leg.

"I can't Lily-Bean I have to stay home with your sister; she's too little to go outside." said Meredith as she stroked Lily's curls with her free hand.

"I want you to come Mommy." said Lily as she reached to be picked up.

Derek who was a few feet away came over and knelt down in front of Lily. "Lily you're a big girl now that's why you get to go to camp." explained Derek.

"I want Mommy to come." said Lily.

"Lily I'll be there, you can hold my hand." said Katherine coming over." Camp's a lot of fun."

Lily nodded and pulled away from Meredith taking Katherine's hand. "I'll be back soon." Lily reassured Meredith.

Meredith giggled slightly. "Okay I'll make sure not to miss you too much. Have fun." said Meredith as she bent down with Maddie in her arms to give Lily a kiss on the forehead.

"Bye Mommy" said Liam waving as he ran to the front door to wait.

"Bye." called Meredith. "We'll never have a problem with him will we?" Meredith asked Derek with a grin.

"Just wait, wait until he suddenly likes dirt and starts grossing his sister's out with stuff, just wait." said Derek as he watched Lily run after her brother.

"Bye Mommy." said Katherine kissing. "Bye Maddie." said Katherine kissing her gently on the head.

"Bye Kat, thanks being such a big girl and helping with Lily." said Meredith as she watched her daughter run in the same direction her siblings went.

"Alright I'll be right back." said Derek. "Try not to do anything cute till I get back." said Derek in a baby voice as he kissed Maddie's head. "Bye." said Derek kissing Meredith gently on the lips.

"Bye love you too." said Meredith as he rushed after his kids and she heard the front door close. "Well it looks like it's just you and me Maddie. What do you fee like doing?" asked Meredith. Madison yawned and slowly shut her blue-green eyes.

"Sleep, I couldn't agree with you more."


	41. Life Keeps Moving On

Oh my goodness this is the last chapter of this story

_**Oh my goodness this is the last chapter of this story! I feel like I just started it yesterday. I want to thank everyone that has reviewed and supported this story from the beginning. Without my readers it would just be a bunch of meaningless words on paper! Incase anyone is interested in knowing, I will be doing a sequel. It will be like part of the epilogue at the end of the chapter ad hopefully soon it will be posted! Once again thanks everyone, and enjoy read "One Step at a Time." for one last time.**_

_Late October_

Meredith smiled as she watched her kids run into the school yard ahead of her, while she pushed a sleeping almost four month old Madison in the stroller. She shook her head in amazement. Liam and Lily had started nursery last month and Katherine was in the first grade already. Where has the time gone? She patted down her wrinkled scrub pants as she waited near where Lily and Liam were standing. She had gone back to work a month ago and things couldn't be working out better. Madison was in daycare until one of them got off. At eleven Meredith or Derek went and brought Lily and Liam to daycare for the rest of the day and Katherine was brought to the hospital by one of her friend's mother, after her full day of school. Each week Meredith and Derek had one day off each, meaning their kids weren't in day care the entire week.

"Mommy!" called Lily as she rushed over tears welling up in her eyes.

"What's the matter Lily?" Meredith asked she bent over to talk to her daughter.

"That boy was running and kicked dirt on my dress." said Lily as she pointed to the faint dirt spot on her pink dress.

Meredith giggled slightly, at how much of a girly girl Lily was. "I'm sure it was an accident sweetie." said Meredith as she brushed it away with her fingers. "There all clean. No why don't you go get Liam for me and wait on line for your teacher over here." said Meredith as she waved to Katherine who was standing a few lines over starting to walk into the building with her classmates.

"Okay." said Lily as she skipped off to get her brother.

"You're siblings can be a little crazy huh?" Meredith cooed to Madison. "You'll get used to them. Hopefully."

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Meredith collapsed into bed later that night beside Derek. She moaned in pleasure as he rubbed her neck gently.

"You have no idea how good that feels." said Meredith as she lay her head on hi chest." I'm so tired." said Meredith as she close her eyes.

"Me too." yawned Derek.

"God, it's pathetic we're in bed and it's only nine thirty. We used to be up and about at this time." laughed Meredith.

"When we were young and carefree." laughed Derek.

"When did we become such old and boring people?" asked Meredith.

"Who says we're boring?" asked Derek as he kissed her neck. "I think we're very spontaneous and active." said Derek.

Meredith pushed him away smiling. "You naughty man."

Maybe they weren't so old after all.

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_Three Years Later_

Meredith groaned as she got up from her spot on the couch, when she heard the door-bell ring. She put a hand on her slightly swollen stomach. Yes, she was pregnant again. But she and Derek had made an agreement that this was their last child. Derek and Liam were both hoping for a boy, finally but if mother's intuition proved her right, they'd be welcoming another little girl in about five months.

"Mommy!" called a three year old Maddie as she ran into the living room. "Is it Daddy?" she asked as she bounced on her toes.

Meredith laughed at how much Madison adored her father. The most important part of the day for her was when Derek came home. She'd always run into his arms and he would pick her up as she squealed with laughter. "No sweetie, why don't you go back to playing, Kat, Lily and Liam should be home soon." said Meredith as she ushered her daughter into the next room before opening the door. She opened it to reveal a young blonde woman with blue grey eyes.

"Hi, I'm looking for Meredith Grey Shepherd." she said as she nervously pulled at the edges of her long sleeve shirt.

"I'm her. What can I do for you?" asked Meredith, as their brown lab Chip sat down by protectively by her foot.

"I'm um…. you see I'm….." started the nervous young woman.

"You're?" questioned Meredith slowly and calmly.

"I'm Charlotte Hopkins. I'm your daughter Lily's birthmother."

_**And that's how I'm leaving it for now! Make sure to check out the sequel " One Step Forward, Another Step Back" which should hopefully be posted sometime this weekend! Thanks again everyone!**_


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